BFF?

With all the attention these past few days  to the 25th anniversary of the movie “When Harry Met Sally”, staring Billie Crystal and Meg Ryan…My thoughts wonder towards relationships and the movie’s theme. Can a man and a woman really be friends?

“When Harry Met Sally”

“Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I’m saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don’t want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That’s too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.”
― Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

 

So given my stir it up personality, needing to take it to the next level…

The question before you is:

….Can a hetersexual married woman be friends with a hetersexual man that is not her husband?

AND…

…Can a hetersexual woman be friends with another woman’s husband? And not with his wife?

I suppose the quick and edging answer is: yes (friendships have no boundaries)….But is that really true, are friendships really without boundaries or expectations?

Can you meet a married man and fall into a causal gender-neutral friendship? Or what what about the kind of friendships that had started years ago during your single years?  Can you remain close friends regardless of yours or his marital status?

I say, martial status changes the game and hence the rules to play by. AND only stupid girls with huge ego’s think they can have a friendship with someone else’s husband….End of game!

OR…Has the game just begun?

 

Looking!

Where are you looking today?

As always, it’s your decision!

To Be Right?? OR To Be Kind??

Today, you decide???

LMAO Monday!

Today’s contribution is from my dear dear friend BB!…Thank you BB for all the most wonderful enriching (friendship) contributions to my life, I’m filled with gratitude!!!

…Enjoy!

 

Dear God,

So far today,

I haven’t gossiped,

I haven’t lost my temper,

I haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over-indulgent.

I’m very thankful for that.

But in a few minutes, God,

I’m going to get out of bed…

and from then on,

I’m probably going to need a lot more help.

Amen

“After I’m Gone” by Laura Lippman

“You can rewrite life all you want… It’s still a play where everyone dies in the end.”

I love what reading does to and for me! 

Hope you get some reading pleasures this weekend!

 

 

The Giver!

Day Light savings arrived perfectly on time this morning. Which is also code for longer days of sunlight (yippee)! But for those who are not morning people, the time change leaves them very exhausted, feeling miserable for that lost hour of sleep.

But not me! I’m a morning person, I love springing forward and the clocks! Love jumping out of bed with the delight of an earlier start to my day or at least in my head it feels that way.

Today feeling a bit happier with a little more skip in my walk,  I walked over to my neighbors for my usually Sunday morning Thing One and Thing Two entertainment time.  Of course never knowing what activities I would discover but always filled with expectations of hugs, laughter and beautiful loving insights. This morning certainly did not disappoint.

As I let myself into their backyard heading to their backdoor I noticed bear size foot prints in the over night dusting of snow. At this point I need to mention their 110 pound Great Pyrenees English Setter Mix that looks more like a Shetland pony than a dog. And by the way, who loves to greet me by leaping up into the air landing her front paws on top of my shoulders with her enormous head towering above me. As she wagged her grand tail (swinging it back and forth), creating colder wind chill tempts, I did my best to push her down… Recognizing like everything else over at my neighbors house, she is filled with love.

But I’m digressing a bit….

Upon my arrival Thing One and Thing Two greeted me with smiles and giggles as they ran off to fetch their make-believe pizza (play doh) on little toy plates. I pretended to gobble it up with enthusiasm and delight. The next food delivery they thought should be tea.

When all of a sudden….

Thing One takes off like a shot (older, taller and has the athleticism of a gold medallist) was the first to grab the tiny plastic tea cup…

Poor harmony, poor, poor harmony… it ended up in the frying pan!

Thing Too wanted to be “the giver,” feeling his second giving would be considered sloppy seconds!

Which made me remember a quote by Theodore Roosevelt (a God wink moment)…”Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Because of great parenting, Thing Two learned no matter what he gave, it was still going to be very special…..Serenity arrived perfectly on time.

AND….

….To me, it became as obvious as the nose on my face, Thing Two had begun the journey that would lead him to being a very happy adult.

 

 

 

Games and Rules!

As I walked into my neighbors home, Thing Two (age 4) was in his mother’s arms completely relaxed. His breathing and hers had become one. Together their chests rising and falling, slowly inhaling with long slow exhales. Calm was in the room as if it was something I could touch. I even noticed my breathing had become slower with longer calming breaths  .

In Thing Two’s hand was a tiny toy he was clinging to, his reassurance that his brother (Thing One) wasn’t going to completely get exactly everything he wanted (or so he thought).  I was witnessing the calm after the storm. Apparently several minutes (thankfully) before my arrival the outburst was set into motion by Thing One’s thoughts and ideas about how a game should be played….I’m not positive on all the details but I think it had something to do with, everyone has to play by my rules or else kind of a game!

Well anyway….

As I looked over at Thing One looking very angelic and playing so peacefully on the floor. He gave the appearance  that he was totally unaware of the how and why of Thing Two’s unnerving, I couldn’t help it, I started to laugh (it really was hilarious). All of a sudden Thing Two said, it’s too noisy in the room.  His mother said with a smile and a giggle , funny how this works…people never seem to mind the volume of their own noise (screaming) but other people’s noise is unsettling.”

And…

…As you know from my past post, I truly believe God works in mysteries ways!

God was winking at me, and now getting my full attention.

This whole scene reminded me of a quote from the Dalai Lama that I had once read…”You can not lose what you do not cling to.”

God gave me that moment in time, to understand that true peace, is in, the letting go.

Sadly for many adults, maturing (respecting others) is far too difficult and letting go seems so terribly unfair.

AND…Let me reassure you, because of great parenting, Thing One and Thing Two are growing taller, stronger and maturing perfectly!

Life’s Sprinkles!

 

“Sometimes you need a little sprinkles in your life.”

-Pinterest

Over the last two weeks (and really my whole life) the heavens have been showering beautiful and delicious sprinkles down on me…

AND…

…I want to take a humble moment to give thanks and appreciation!

Thanksgiving for prayers answered!

XOXO!

 

Drunk Posting!

Who out there is getting on Facebook at 1:00 in the morning after a few adult beverages and posting pictures of friends? Well, STOP IT NOW!

You are very close to (being blocked on Facebook) and an intervention that will land you a 30 day stay at The Betty Ford Clinic.

My suggestion if you are…

hurt

angry

unhappy

feeling nostalgic or have had at least one adult beverage…

…Step away from your technology!

Before you damage yourself and friendships (present and future)

It’s too damaging and you cannot un-ring a bell. No matter how much your rational (in the moment) lucid and/or sober self regrets!

Of course, this is just a suggestion for a kinder and more peaceful existence!

Again as always, it is your decision!

 

 

 

 

 

Cold and Homeless!

About two weeks ago I sat in my car in front of a lovely restaurant in town waiting for my “take-out” dinner. 

Just a second I need to back-up even further…

My husband was out of town and I decided I wanted an early dinner from this lovely restaurant that I enjoy going to. I took it even a step further, (lazier) and thought if there wasn’t a parking place available right in front of the restaurant I will keep driving because I do not even feel like walking a little for my dinner tonight…Far too cold and windy!

Well, lord and behold a fine parking space right in front of my restaurant. Yippee, I thought, God is taking such good care of me, far too cold to be out and about!

I called in my order from my cell phone, still not needing to brave the elements as my ass sat in my warm car (music playing). I was told it would be about 15 minutes. I sang “no problem.” 

I played words with friends, talked with friends and then decided to look at all my amazing stocks on an app I downloaded several weeks before. I was adding up all the plus columns, thinking such happy thoughts, quite proud of myself for buying more shares of twitter before it hit 50… When a homeless man knocks on my window. I froze, trust me not because of the cold.

I hear “I’m not going to rob you, I just need a little money for a hot meal and to get to the men’s homeless shelter for tonight”. His lips and face were about three if not four different shades of color ranging from light to dark. He didn’t have gloves or a hat and his coat was certainly nothing I would have considered warm enough for such a winter night. I lowered my window a little and he continued, “I’m not going to buy drugs, I just need a hot meal and to get to the men’s shelter for a bed tonight”. 

I grabbed my purse, pulled out my wallet and handed him $20…By his reaction you would have thought I just gave him the keys to heaven.

AND….

…Then it occurred to me, God wasn’t taking care of me on that cold night, he was taking care of the homeless man…

Do I know for sure drugs were not bought that night, no! But I do know everyone comes into our life for a reason and God works in very mysterious ways!