Tag Archives: friendships

A New Years Thought

8 Jan

Inhaling…exhaling…Inhaling…exhaling….arms swinging back and forth….music buds in ears, iPod tucked in front pocket of yoga pants, a huge smile…Thats me at 6:30 AM

And just as routine as my workouts are….

….So is Ken walking up to me with his charming and happy salutations!….After wishing him a Happy New Years, and without skipping a beat in between gasping for breath I say; lets talk un-PC of course.

Let me back up a little….

Ken is one of my wonderful gym friends (first names only) that greets me with smiles and happy/inspirational thoughts early early mornings. He is a 75 year old 6′ 1″ African American man who grew up with a single mother in the Bronx (New York City). A gang leader as a teen who is now an upstanding father/grandfather, who by the way, still works (part-time) and volunteers in places that need him the most.

Ken and I were talking about kids and guns when he said something very powerful…”When I was younger we fought, we did a lot of fighting but there weren’t any guns and I’m sure happy about that. Because I would have killed someone who ended up to be my best friend. He just died a year ago and I still miss him everyday. Kids now, could be killing their future best friend.”

He went off to his piece of equipment (bike) and I continued to run on my piece of equipment (elliptical)…As always, getting nowhere fast!….Enough said.

Women’s Humor….Tee He He!

6 Oct

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Today, you decide what needs fixing!…Tee he he!

What Do You See?

27 Aug

I recently purchased Kangoo Runners and posted this picture on my Facebook page.

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The comments ranged from (please see below), “you are going to kill yourself to please video!” Basically saying when you do kill yourself, I want to laugh my ass off!

“Just fill out the hospital admission form ahead of time.”

You’re going to kill yourself, Are you serious?

“I’m not sure…those look dangerous!”

“please video tape this” – My very funny sister and a very funny friend of my daughter’s left this comment

And…

…After I stopped laughing, it hit me like a two by four across the face….As these moments always do.

Pure and good  admission of honesty right here folks…

…I have to admit, I NEVER once saw the Kangoo Runners as dangerous, thought NEVER popped into my head…Just a whole lot of FUN!

Is there something wrong with me?

OR???

Is there something right with me?

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” – Nelson Mandela

So far I have been correct. I have had a blast running in them! A great joyful workout completely void of fear!

What do you see?

Danger or fun…As always, it’s your decision!

BFF?

23 Jul

With all the attention these past few days  to the 25th anniversary of the movie “When Harry Met Sally”, staring Billie Crystal and Meg Ryan…My thoughts wonder towards relationships and the movie’s theme. Can a man and a woman really be friends?

“When Harry Met Sally”

“Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I’m saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don’t want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That’s too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.”
― Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

 

So given my stir it up personality, needing to take it to the next level…

The question before you is:

….Can a hetersexual married woman be friends with a hetersexual man that is not her husband?

AND…

…Can a hetersexual woman be friends with another woman’s husband? And not with his wife?

I suppose the quick and edging answer is: yes (friendships have no boundaries)….But is that really true, are friendships really without boundaries or expectations?

Can you meet a married man and fall into a causal gender-neutral friendship? Or what what about the kind of friendships that had started years ago during your single years?  Can you remain close friends regardless of yours or his marital status?

I say, martial status changes the game and hence the rules to play by. AND only stupid girls with huge ego’s think they can have a friendship with someone else’s husband….End of game!

OR…Has the game just begun?

 

To Be Right?? OR To Be Kind??

9 Jun

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Today, you decide???

Games and Rules!

4 Mar

As I walked into my neighbors home, Thing Two (age 4) was in his mother’s arms completely relaxed. His breathing and hers had become one. Together their chests rising and falling, slowly inhaling with long slow exhales. Calm was in the room as if it was something I could touch. I even noticed my breathing had become slower with longer calming breaths  .

In Thing Two’s hand was a tiny toy he was clinging to, his reassurance that his brother (Thing One) wasn’t going to completely get exactly everything he wanted (or so he thought).  I was witnessing the calm after the storm. Apparently several minutes (thankfully) before my arrival the outburst was set into motion by Thing One’s thoughts and ideas about how a game should be played….I’m not positive on all the details but I think it had something to do with, everyone has to play by my rules or else kind of a game!

Well anyway….

As I looked over at Thing One looking very angelic and playing so peacefully on the floor. He gave the appearance  that he was totally unaware of the how and why of Thing Two’s unnerving, I couldn’t help it, I started to laugh (it really was hilarious). All of a sudden Thing Two said, it’s too noisy in the room.  His mother said with a smile and a giggle , funny how this works…people never seem to mind the volume of their own noise (screaming) but other people’s noise is unsettling.”

And…

…As you know from my past post, I truly believe God works in mysteries ways!

God was winking at me, and now getting my full attention.

This whole scene reminded me of a quote from the Dalai Lama that I had once read…”You can not lose what you do not cling to.”

God gave me that moment in time, to understand that true peace, is in, the letting go.

Sadly for many adults, maturing (respecting others) is far too difficult and letting go seems so terribly unfair.

AND…Let me reassure you, because of great parenting, Thing One and Thing Two are growing taller, stronger and maturing perfectly!

Drunk Posting!

3 Feb

Who out there is getting on Facebook at 1:00 in the morning after a few adult beverages and posting pictures of friends? Well, STOP IT NOW!

You are very close to (being blocked on Facebook) and an intervention that will land you a 30 day stay at The Betty Ford Clinic.

My suggestion if you are…

hurt

angry

unhappy

feeling nostalgic or have had at least one adult beverage…

…Step away from your technology!

Before you damage yourself and friendships (present and future)

It’s too damaging and you cannot un-ring a bell. No matter how much your rational (in the moment) lucid and/or sober self regrets!

Of course, this is just a suggestion for a kinder and more peaceful existence!

Again as always, it is your decision!

 

 

 

 

 

The Good Old Days!

20 Sep

Does anyone miss the good ol’ days?

For me I think it’s entertaining…

When was the last time you entertained friends much-less in your home? Don’t worry I’m not judging, I completely understand.

It use to be so so soooo easy!

You made a few phone calls, they said yes, they arrived at the designated time, some drinks, some dinner which included chicken or maybe a hamburger (with bun) plus carbohydrates, some sugar delicious dessert and voila everyone had fun including the hosts!

NOW entertaining is a different beast. I’m starting to twitch just thinking about it.

I don’t know what to serve anymore that doesn’t offend someone!

Let me explain…

Guests arrive, drinks are served…Not so fast…hold it right there. It use to be Beer, Wine or a Coca Cola…

NOWWWW….

Beer, Wine #white & red, and full bar for those who have sleepless white wine nights and for those others with a sensitivity to the tannins in red. Along with juices, sodas, sport drinks, tonics, with and without sugar. Plus different flavored waters with and without bubbles.

No plastic cups, plates or paper napkins for the environmentally green conscious guests

AND I ask you what is left to serve with all the dietary restrictions/requirements friends now have; gluten intolerant, vegans, range-free, hormone-free, organic, vegetarian, red meat but no lamb, no mercury laden fish, Carbo-free, only locally grown vegetables, no white flour products, no tomato base sauce and God knows what allergies that needs some dancing around!

Cell phones! Pass the cell phone please! I need to snapchat/facebook us having fun!

Desserts , yes dessets I remember them fondly. Use to be the easiest part of the meal…Think again!

Sorry for the reality check, dessert is now something one enjoyed in the good old days…Some guests view sugar as poison and as if it’s some master plan to kill off their pancreas while sending them into heroin high addiction. Then there are some that use dessert as the perfect moment to shame others, shinning a bright light so to speak on their weakness to a healthy lifestyle. While the very thin seem to enjoy it with their fingers and politely excuse themselves to throw-up!

The good old days, what ever happened to the good old days of just plain eating?

Enjoy your weekend entertaining and Stay safe!

Monday’s Friends!

10 Jun

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“We are friends for life. When we’re together the years fall away. Isn’t that what matters? To have someone who can remember with you? To have someone who remembers how far you’ve come?” – judy blume

 

I am so very lucky…I was reminded of that quote just recently (of the friends in my life)…I am so very lucky (Blessed)!

 

….Today is a great day to be reminded….

 

Stay safe!

“Ultra Sounds!”

16 Jan
Dear Readers,

 
My day started as it usual does, early, peaceful and filled with joy. I look forward to seeing my dogs in the morning along my first cup of coffee.  
“Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistocation”. 
Leonardo da Vinci (Reminded of quote by 2B Aware)
 
My day was very uneventful and thought it would be a great day to see a movie that my daughter recommended several weeks ago and had been nominated for an Oscar. I do love seeing movies that are up for Oscars…it’s just a little game I play with myself to see if I agree with the awards or need to start an in-house protest against the acedemy demanding more transparency!
 
I had plans to go to a 1:20 movie and then I walked into my office glanced at my calendar and that nagging feeling I had all morning became oh so very clear. I had a 2:45 appointment for a routine ultra sound. After I made a few calls, shifted gears, off to my appointment I went with new movie plans now for a 4:10 showing of “Silver Linings Playbook.” A beautiful protrail of a family dealing with mental health issues ( Bradley Cooper, played in The Hangover, Jennifer Lawrence, in The Hunger Games and Robert DeNiro, in everything!) A must see!
 
There are times when the real deal walks into your life and she did just that. I was seated in the waiting room at University Suburban Health Center when I heard my name called. Yes I said, that’s me!  I followed a slender woman in hospital scrubs into her examing room for a very routine ultra-sound… Her name is Lori, and she is the real deal!
 
The music was playing (more actually said, the music was rockin!) from small black speakers hiding behind her computer.  As I jump into one of those one piece wrapped exam dresses Lori skips off to view my past films. The music is the kind of music that makes it impossible not to move, and all of a sudden I am dancing in the radiologist office, not kidding! I am dancing, singing thinking what fun this all is and how my day started so ordinary. 
 
Lori returns and come to find out she happens to be one of the best radiologist east of the Mississippi River! Not kidding!
 
Lori and I are yakking and talking and yakking and I am actually having fun at a doctor’s appointment. I said to Lori, you know I think its your music that really set a fun tone for this appointment. Come to find out it all came from her neighbor Gary. Gary loves music and he creates unbelievable CD’s for Lori to take in to work with her and for Lori’s patiences’ to enjoy!
 
You must understand about Lori if nothing more from this posting, she is the kind of person who really works hard for her patience’s because she cares deeply for their well being. 
 
So the next thing I know I wake-up the next morning to an email from her neighbor Gary with the complete list of the CD I so enjoyed while in Lori’s office.
 
Please see his email from Gary
 
“Hi”
Lori told me you were enjoying some songs and asked me to send you the playlist. I know she already offered and you said you only wanted the song titles but I’d reiterate that I’d be happy to burn you a CD and Lori can send it to you. It would literally take only a few minutes and it’s no big deal. I think it would be a lot more enjoyable than a written list. I don’t know whether this was the first time you had been to see Lori but you could probably tell right away that she genuinely enjoys helping others. If you want the actual music just let us know and we’d be happy just knowing you might be rockin out and enjoying it.
Gary
 
 
 
Come to find out Gary is a huge giver as well as Lori! Not only does he provide music for Lori’s patiences’ but gives an hour and half long Kickboxing classes in Mentor and Middleburg, OH for ONLY five dollars a class. I had to give a shout out to Gary! I mean come on now…ONLY 5 dollars!
 
Now I have heard of certain neighborhoods of Cancer clusters (remember the movie Erin Brockovich with Julia Roberts, taking place in Woburn, MA) and just recently a Diabetes cluster in a a town East of Cleveland, OH. But a Sweet, Caring and Kind cluster, now that’s a first for me!…Maybe it will spread!
 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today totally grateful that a perfectly ordinary day brought Lori and Gary into my life!
 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
 
Kindest regards,
 
Asklotta
 
President and CEO
 
CBCorp
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