Monday’s Quick Addition!

Hi all,

It’s the first Monday in August and life is terrific! Why terrific you wonder?

1) No one I’m related to has been arrested

2) The plumbing in my house is still working

3) Thing 1 and Thing 2 had the most wonderful time celebrating Thing 2’s fourth birthday in their back-yard with lots of friends, family, love and a huge ice cream truck!

4) Still plenty of summer left to enjoy with friends and family!

5) Realizing all my prayers have been answered….time to rejoice and dance!…Thanksgiving for prayers answered!!!!

I truly am the kind of person that is grateful and appreciative for everything I have and not miserable for what I don’t have…My brilliant and beautiful Mother taught me that along with “surround yourself with friends that are filled with appreciation”… My Mother gave me the most wonderful gift; the gift of happiness for the rest of my life….And YES I did have a wonderful, loving and brilliant Mother in the world, just in case you were wondering!

Sooooo…..

If you need a little help “scooping” out some happiness today, here’s a little Math Equation that might bring an “answer.”

…If A  is to B, then what is C?

C = Coffee, Coffee Buzz, Buzz, Buzz!

If your summer math is not adding up to something delicious and fun, try changing the equation until the logic makes you smile!

Stay safe!

Monday’s Hero!

“What qualifies someone as a hero?

Obviously a hero has to be someone we respect.

A  person we look up to.

A person who is generous of spirit, is willing to grow and learn.

Maybe it’s the person you love the most in the world or the guy who makes the most out of life no matter what anyone thinks.

For me though, the hero in my family is my family because who we are together.”

– Modern Family (May 8, 2013)

Who is the HERO in your life?

Stay safe!

External Situations!

Dear Readers,

 

Below is a comment I made to a blog called To Be Aware and he responded to my comment. The posting was all about finding the root or source of your unhappiness. And pretty much it all comes down to fear and not taking responsibility

 

but with that said…My comment basically expressed…great on a simplistic level like weather, delayed planes, a dry cleaning mishap, Halloween, parking ticket, where there is a beginning, middle and end. But what if it goes to a higher level, a higher level of caring, a higher level of continuation that hasn’t ended.

 

His response… 

 

“You prevent joy/happiness/moving on for yourself. Nothing external to you can rule your experience of life. It is your choice how to react to changing external situations. No one chooses your attitude besides you.”

 

I agree with him but my brain did not stop clicking…

 

…It is time to play the What if game…

 

What if… 

 

A Bully, someone/s activity working to hurt you daily (posting October 24, the reader who commented she was bullied in high school and as much as she tried to ignore it, it was impossible to avoid the humiliation and pain. 

 

A very ill child, A parent’s constant worry, for the cure is beyond their ability 

 

A terminally ill parent suffering in pain and you are rendered helpless to ease their pain

 

Molestation/rape

 

Imprisoned for a crime you did not comment

 

  

And for this is when I say due to the emotions God gave humans (love, empathy, care) I believe external situations can prevent joy/happiness/moving on!

 

For I believe to have “joy/happiness/moving on” while in the mist of severe and cruel outside forces is to NOT CARE! You simply do not care.  This is the perfect time to quote my brilliant and beauty Mother “The boil on the other man’s ass never hurts.” Well done Mom! or to quote my youngest step-son “solid.”

 

AND maybe just maybe lacking “joy/happiness/moving on” in our life during certain life altering events and to feel life’s pain (as uncomfortable as it is) is exactly where we need to be in that moment and time. Maybe there is something we are needing to feel, to live (to teach us) to deliver us emotionally and physically where we need to be in the end.

 

My last two cents worth…If “nothing external to you can rule your experience of life” what would be the point to living life and embracing life’s experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. For if nothing more life is a collections of adventures or stories as my friend Linda calls them. God would not have given us the ability to love, care, have empathy and to learn if no one else mattered but the me’s! I have to believe God did not give us any un-useful spare parts. 

 

 

-Pinterest

 

Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today always seeking balance and appreciating the stories in my life!

 

Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!

 

Kindest regards,

 

Asklotta

 

President and CEO

 

CBCorp  

“What’s Wrong With My Hair?”

Dear Readers,

 

Below AOL from the Huffington Post regarding Gabby Douglas Hair …It originally struck me one way as, oh how I wish all girls would have Gabby Douglas attitude. But then it struck me in a different way (confirmed by her mother’s comments) which is the bigger story a story all about the perfect example of the ugly, the jealous and the stupid. 

 

LONDON — Women’s gymnastics all-around champion Gabby Douglas likes her hairstyle just fine, thanks.

 

The 16-year-old said Sunday she was a little confused when she logged onto her computer after winning her second gold medal in three days and discovered people were debating her pulled-back look.

 

“I don’t know where this is coming from. What’s wrong with my hair?” said Douglas, the first U.S. gymnast to win gold in team and all-around competition. “I’m like, `I just made history and people are focused on my hair?’ It can be bald or short, it doesn’t matter about (my) hair.”

 

Douglas uses gel, clips and a ponytail holder to keep things in place while she competes, a style she’s worn for years.

 

“Nothing is going to change,” she said. “I’m going to wear my hair like this during beam and bar finals. You might as well just stop talking about it.”

 

The bubbly teenager is the first African-American gymnast to win her sport’s biggest prize. She had no idea she was lighting up social media until she Google herself hours after winning her gold medal.

 

“I don’t think people should be worried about that,” she said. “We’re all champions and we’re all winners. I just say that it’s kind of, a stupid and crazy thought to think about my hair.”

-Huffington Post

 

But then a few days later her Mother Natalie Hawkins spoke out:

 

“How ignorant is it of people to comment on her hair and she still has more competitions to go. Are you trying to ruin her self confidence?” Hawkins told Fashionista.com. “She has to go out there and feel good about herself, and if she feels good about herself on that floor, who are you to criticize her? What have you done to help contribute to her dream, that you felt it necessary to put it out there so that she could see it.”

 

And Hawkins adds there’s more to why her daughter’s hair may look unkempt to the critics (who Hawkins assesses have mostly been African American women).

 

“She lives with a white host family and they don’t know anything about taking care of her hair,” said Hawkins. “And there’s no black salons in their area [in Iowa] –- not one. We had to work really hard to find a stylist to come and do her hair.”

 

“Gabby’s coach Liang Chow agrees. He told Hawkins — “She’s beautiful. You don’t need to change her hair. We need to focus on training. Hair is secondary.”

 

Here is the bigger story, Why does our society feel it is OK to criticize others for doing nothing wrong but yet a man who shoots innocent victims in a movie theater is called “an alleged shooter” commanding more respect then a hard working 16 year old girl who has sacrificed so much to represent her country with honor and dignity.

 

It is NOT OK for people to attack young girls about their appearance much less the ones who have made wonderful choices in life and who are doing incredible things to better their life and others! They put themselves out for the world to see without any guarantees?  Trying their hardest in front of millions to witness the slightest error and never to be forgotten, now that takes guts that only a few own! 

 

Let me make myself perfectly clear, it is NOT OK to say what ever you want just because it is on your brain, you need a filter between your brains and your mouth and people should rise up and protect others from the jealous, the greedy and the envious… This only comes from minds that hate! AND have no place in a (good and decent) society. Mean and critical words breaks hearts, rocks the once confident and jade the young…stand up, unite, do not tolerate the mean and nasty spewing from the entitled and spiteful.

 

AND by the way…

 

…Did I have the only Mother in the world that said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

 

Personally I never noticed any of the girl’s hair in any of the Olympic events (completely blown over by their ability and everything they did to get to this point) but now that I’m staring at their heads, I think Gabby’s hair and everyone else’s looks great! They all are incredible athletes with a job and a purpose and not one of their responsibilities entails caring about what their hair looks like (thank goodness!) 

 

Asklotta and staff is MINDING YOUR BUSINESS with wide accepting arms for all those who work hard at life, trying their very best to live a life with honor, dignity and completely un-entitled…regardless if they have any hair at all.

 

Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!

 

Kindest regards,

 

Asklotta

 

President and CEO

 

CBCorp

 

“The What If” Game

Dear Readers,

 

As I was being very lazy the other day with catalogs spewed all around me while reading a book I had just received from Amazon.com, I allowed my mind to wonder for a few minutes that of course led to a much lengthier wondering time for me.  I didn’t care; there is something most delicious about being lazy in the summer. Maybe it is a throw back from summers off from school and lying on the beach with my sister reading together on our blanket trying to knock off some of the books that our parents required us to read during our summers in Chicago. It was the time after lunch (of course) because of the rule: no going in the water an hour after you have eaten so you don’t get a cramp and drown! I think adults back then were far better at scaring the SH$T out of children then we are today.

 

But anyway…

 

As my eye lids became heavier and heavier and the warmth of the sun gave me the perfect excuse to just lower my lids for a moment in to pure relaxation and then it started… “The What If” game. I am sure you have played this game before…What if I never had the parents I did? What if I didn’t have the sister I do? What if I never went to my 25th college reunion, where I meant my husband? What if I didn’t have the exact same children I have?  What if I didn’t have the friends I have? Or even What if I didn’t have the problems I have? And so on and so on and so forth! A friend of mine calls this the “mental masturbation.” game, has no purpose, it just brings pleasure.

 

Then I thought, is there a starting point? Is there a beginning to “The What If” game?

 

Well…

 

MY Mother and Father taught me to love, be appreciative and be resilient through their actions and words. 

MY sister has given me 50+ years of unconditional love and never ending support and humor. 

 

…And from there I realized with all the clarity one can have in a sleepy poolside fog…. “The What If” game has no beginning and has no end.  

 

“People are people because of other people!” And I just happened to have been dealt the luckiest cards (a royal flush in life) a girl could ever wish for in one life time! 

 

So with that said, I am full of love and appreciation that the moon and stars aliened, the universe spoke loud and clear and the heavens bestowed down on me…the most unbelievable luck! So for me to have the children I do, the husband I do and the friends I do, even those brief encounter moments ( Jenny – My Posting on June 14 ) not excluding those souls I would have preferred not in my life, it all has been the most unbelievable amazing luck and I would not be in this exact moment in time if just one person/event did not happen exactly as it did, at the exact moment that it did!

  

Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today in awe of all the unexplainable invisible beauty that fills our world! And if you don’t believe me, just close your eyes and start playing the “what if” game. It will turn a believer out of even the worse skeptics.

 

Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!

 

Kindest regards,

 

Asklotta

 

President and CEO

 

CBCorp  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Divorcing

Dear Readers,

 

Divorcing, just the word brings sadness and sorrow to those who have had the unfortunate personal experience with this very painful and expensive process. Divorcing (verb) is the action word for the process and procedure of ending a marriage and life as a family built around the marriage. The thesaurus defines the word divorcing as “dissociating, disconnecting, separating, distancing, and detaching,” 

 

And if anyone thinks for one second everything and everyone is going to be great, happier and better then it was before, they are either insane or have a lover!  The definition of the word does not lend itself to happiness, at least not in the beginning, in fact requires a grieving period for all. To those who think they can by pass right over the grieving period are delusional about divorce’s impact on their family, it reminds me of a saying…”Besides that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?” 

 

When you are the one left, it is all about rebuilding, taking stock of your relationships and making the necessary changes to make yourself whole again. Which always involves new rules and boundaries for engaging with others, which need to be respected (by all) if there is to be any hope of a peaceful and respectful friendship, co-parenting (new working) relationship in the future.  The rules that existed during a marriage become null and void due to a huge new nuance…divorce (dissociating, disconnecting, separating, distancing, and detaching.) Trust needs to be rebuilt and it takes time and time and time and by the way did I mention TIME!

 

There are many good reasons for divorcing your spouse, e.g., addictions, abuse, cheating etc.! And then there are some not so good reasons…but whether the death of a marriage is for a good or bad reason it is ALWAYS better when it does NOT involve a third person (a lover.)  Many cheating spouses will say, cheating didn’t break up the marriage it was a symptom of a bigger problem. Trust me on this one; they are in a state of moral and ethical denial of mind and body.  Woody Allen – “We define ourselves by the choices we make” AND ” With the lack of morality comes rationality” A quote from my posting on June 17  “Defining ourselves!” 

 

Which brings me to the point of today’s posting…

 

Much has been said and written about Katie Holmes and her planned exit from her marriage to Tom Cruise “A Calculated Breakup” by Jacob Bernstein, The New York Times, Sunday, July 15.  But what is a stand out for me, No Lover, No Extramarital Affair! Maybe that is why both sides could come to a mutual and respectful agreement in a short period of time. It also appears which I give her tremendous amount of credit for… her honorable priorities. Katie’s main objective (and got) was sole custody of their daughter Suri. There was a pre-nuptial in place but that does not mean she could not have found a lawyer to charge forward with swords drawn, for an all out frontal attack. 

 

We all know Katie Holmes could have dragged this through the media and courts (no spouse is perfect) and the public would have lapped it up like water on a hot day by a thirsty dog but instead she chose to drag Suri to school, gymnastics and to the zoo…I would say a far better dragging choice for everyone involved! Hmmm a mother actually choosing her child over money and the revengeful disemboweling of her former husband, what a novel idea in today’s greed and self-absorbed, maybe it will turn in to a chic new style of divorce for other mothers choosing to exit.

 

In Mr. Bernstein’s article he quotes (the director) Callie Khouri of “Mad Money” the 2008 film about “three women who commit a robbery.” She says about Katie, “She was not stupid, in my experience, Ms. Khouri said, Quite the opposite. When I was working with her, she seemed very happy. If things changed, the fact that she was able to do this without making it a big ugly public thing is not unlike what I would expect. She’s a dignified girl and she’s been in show business since she was a little kid. She’s not a neophyte.”

One can only remain hopeful that the Katie Holmes style of dignifying divorce starts a hip new trend!

 

Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today with wise words of wisdom, you NEVER meet your soul mate while you are married to someone else! It is just called hurting your spouse and children unnecessarily! AND with that said, pack up yesterday’s memories, remember only the good times and move on!

 

Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!

 

Kindest regards,

 

Asklotta

 

President and CEO

 

CBCorp

 Honorab