Tag Archives: Moving On

Everyone Has A Story!

19 May

A few Saturday mornings ago…I was sitting at my computer trying hard to ignore a very happy , a very talkative workman at my house.

…I heard him talking which is certainly not unusual for him. Though it seemed like a one-side conversation and with all this technology these days, people seem to be doing that. I was so hoping he was talking on the phone.  I was trying hard not to look in his direction and kept very silent.


Ignoring him, not looking in his direction and staying silent was not working for me that day.  He (Michael) kept talking,  I soon realized, Michael, had a story to tell.

Still seated at my computer, I looked over at Michael now he was on all fours, laying a piece of canvas down on the floor.

The chatter in my brain was busy at work while looking at Michael. The inner voice kept saying, why is he bothering with the canvas? My house looks like a bomb exploded. I have boxes stacked to the ceiling, beds striped and leaning against bedroom walls.  Kitchen cabinets empty, furniture bubbled wrapped and staged in the front of the house…In other words, a huge pile of  a hot mess!

Trust me on this one, a little more dirt tracked in my house from the bottoms of someone’s shoes was not going to be noticed.

I’m sure you’ve lived this visual at least once in your life.


Michael still on his hands and knees, half in and half out of the house, now had my full attention He was telling me how he once had dogs like mine and how they reminded him of a terrible tragedy in his life.

In 2002 his whole family died in a house fire, his wife (high school sweetheart), a son (4 1/2) and a daughter (3 1/2).

I said nothing, he had a story to tell…

He was away on a boys hunting trip for just a few days. His wife had decided she and the kids would stay with her parents at their home (thinking life would be a little easier). The trip was a success and Michael was returning home but had a later departure than originally planned. He talked with his family on the drive home. A snow storm was moving in and Michael needed to get up very early the next morning to plow driveways (his second business). So the decision was made his family would stay at his in-laws for one more night. His son wanted him to pick him up on his way home but Michael said, “No, stay with mommy, I have to get up very early to plow driveways in the morning.”

A few hours later…He received the call.

Apparently, everyone had at one point made it outside but they went back in the house not knowing everyone had made it out.

His son was found dead crouched down between the toilet and the sink.

His daughter dead under her bed and his wife in the bathroom with her son.

They all died of smoke inhalation.

What Michael was told, when the bathroom  window was opened, it created a backdraft, making the whole house go up in minutes.

The house fire was started by his son who had found his grandmothers cigarette lighter.

My only question to Michael, how, how do you move on from such an awful, painful tragedy?

“Well” he said,

“I threw myself in to my dogs and after a little over a year, I made a decision, I could either stay in pain and in darkness hating God or fill my life with hope, happiness and love.”

He eventually met a wonderful woman who already had a couple of daughters, they married and had two more daughters.

Michael said, “I work long hard days with very little time off for one reason, to provide everything for my four children and for my wife’… “I am filled with gratitude” Michael said, to be able to do what I do for them. Their happiness is my happiness!

I said, Michael, you are a true inspiration regarding living life….My mother would say, “Life is for the living.” And he is certainly living those words.

Michael’s story has forever change my life, strengthening my belief in the human spirit. The desire for love, happiness and joy is far stronger than hate, misery and darkness !

I am filled with gratitude that a happy man, who was on his hands and knees, laying out canvas to protect my already dirty floors, didn’t allow my silence, to silence his story!

God works in mysterious ways!






Alex Trebek, I’ll Take Bitter Sweet for $200

5 May

Alex Trebek – Bitter sweet feelings of a loving past?

Me – What is packing for a move.

Alex Trebek – Correct!

As I pull open another drawer to a desk, push another box to the side, I find another piece of my  sweet past life (a hand written note from my mother, hand made gifts/cards from my children, their baby teeth with notes to the tooth fairy) that had faded into a very comfortable place where loving memories live… Only to be unearthed by the necessity of a move.

Day to day, week to week turns into a whole life time ago.

Yesterday has gone by at warped speed…(time’s) speed and velocity has been in disguise…

…Only today doesn’t seem to go any faster than yesterday did, hmmm.

Found this sweet poem as I was emptying my daughter’s bedroom desk.

AND…Given I am starting off on a new journey, hitting the reset button to life, I thought I would share some…

…Wise Words To Live By:

Sow Only Seeds of Love

You can start a new journey with your very next breath

So many roads you can take, you determine the path.

The time to change if you need is now.

Keeping in touch with your soul will teach you how

You’re the one who decides on the life you live.

You have such a big heart and so much to give.

Think of the love in the world you can spread,

By saying kind words that need to be said.

The gifts you can give are inside your heart,

With so man hurting people it’s a good time to start.

Look for the best in everyone.

Let all your intentions be genuine.

There’s such untold beauty inside of you.

Who are you planning on showing it to?

Open it up to everyone.

Take that next breath.

Your new journey’s begun.



The Art in Moving On!

23 Apr

Dear Readers….

I’m baaaaack! Well at least occasionally I will be.

It is amazing what a heart felt apology can do. To say out loud “but that was no excuse…I was disrespectful….I am very sorry for my behavior.” without a BUT…

Please read on…

“Out of respect for the ongoing legal situation, I cannot comment on everything that is being reported right now. But I do want to say I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarrassed about the things I said. It was definitely a scary situation and I was frightened for my husband, but that was no excuse. I was disrespectful to the officer who was just doing his job. The words I used that night definitely do not reflect who I am. I have nothing but respect for the police and I am very sorry for my behavior.”
-Reese Witherspoon

What ended up front and in my face with Reese Witherspoons heart felt apology and full accountability (no excuses).. was a huge…WOW! In time I will never remember what she did but I will always remember what a really really good person she is. That is called truly moving on and leaving your past behind!

When you step up to the plate to take full responsibility for your unacceptable behavior and blame no one but yourself…it has miraculous healing powers for all but especially for you. It is a pure moment, an opportunity for much happiness and joy for yourself, not only in the moment but for your future!

“Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future” -Oscar Wilde

But instead…

…If your the kind of person that spins lies, blame others and has more excuses than my step-son has sneakers regarding your bad behavior then you are the kind of person who will forever live in darkness by your own doing!

“Excuses are like assho$es, they all stink” -Me

Stay safe everyone!

External Situations!

9 Nov
Dear Readers,
Below is a comment I made to a blog called To Be Aware and he responded to my comment. The posting was all about finding the root or source of your unhappiness. And pretty much it all comes down to fear and not taking responsibility
but with that said…My comment basically expressed…great on a simplistic level like weather, delayed planes, a dry cleaning mishap, Halloween, parking ticket, where there is a beginning, middle and end. But what if it goes to a higher level, a higher level of caring, a higher level of continuation that hasn’t ended.
His response… 
“You prevent joy/happiness/moving on for yourself. Nothing external to you can rule your experience of life. It is your choice how to react to changing external situations. No one chooses your attitude besides you.”
I agree with him but my brain did not stop clicking…
…It is time to play the What if game…
What if… 
A Bully, someone/s activity working to hurt you daily (posting October 24, the reader who commented she was bullied in high school and as much as she tried to ignore it, it was impossible to avoid the humiliation and pain. 
A very ill child, A parent’s constant worry, for the cure is beyond their ability 
A terminally ill parent suffering in pain and you are rendered helpless to ease their pain
Imprisoned for a crime you did not comment
And for this is when I say due to the emotions God gave humans (love, empathy, care) I believe external situations can prevent joy/happiness/moving on!
For I believe to have “joy/happiness/moving on” while in the mist of severe and cruel outside forces is to NOT CARE! You simply do not care.  This is the perfect time to quote my brilliant and beauty Mother “The boil on the other man’s ass never hurts.” Well done Mom! or to quote my youngest step-son “solid.”
AND maybe just maybe lacking “joy/happiness/moving on” in our life during certain life altering events and to feel life’s pain (as uncomfortable as it is) is exactly where we need to be in that moment and time. Maybe there is something we are needing to feel, to live (to teach us) to deliver us emotionally and physically where we need to be in the end.
My last two cents worth…If “nothing external to you can rule your experience of life” what would be the point to living life and embracing life’s experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. For if nothing more life is a collections of adventures or stories as my friend Linda calls them. God would not have given us the ability to love, care, have empathy and to learn if no one else mattered but the me’s! I have to believe God did not give us any un-useful spare parts. 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today always seeking balance and appreciating the stories in my life!
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
Kindest regards,
President and CEO
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