Victim No Longer!

24 Feb

About a month ago my husband had a full hip replacement and after 3 days in the hospital I drove him home on a brutal Cleveland winter day. Our home immediately transformed into a nursing home with prescription bottles decorating counters and rooms with rechargeable air pumps for his legs (to prevent blood clots) that sucked air in and out all day and ALL NIGHT …that he needed to wear all day and ALL NIGHT (bless his heart).  Along with other medical equipment to aid in his comfort and recovery.


…As the recovery (thankfully) has progressed with amazing speed (bless his heart)…

Our house has now been transformed into his office. With conference calls, deliveries and loud out bursts of “damn it”  because of a lost internet connection for a moment (bless his heart).


This morning as he moved from one room to the other with purpose and questions/requests for me (bless his heart), I was doing my best impression of I can’t hear you because what I’m watching (on television) is so interesting I can’t possibly turn my head and pay attention…Admittedly not being the best wife I could possibly be!


…As you know from previous post of mine, I truly believe God works in misteriest ways.

…So here we go…Or rather “hear” (tee hee) we go!

The television happened to have The View on with Gabrielle Union as a guest, she plays Mary Jane in “Being Mary Jane.” A truly stunning well spoken woman with a tremendous amount of love and energy…in her real life; marrying a man with three sons (a soon to-be blended family as she said).


…What truly did end up catching my attention (I know, took me a long time to get here) Ms. Union spoke about the turning point in her life when she realized she no longer wanted to be a victim (raped at gun point at 19 yrs. old) and instead wanted to be a survivor! Ms Union said, you get all the attention and excuses you thought you’ve always wanted when you were younger but the problem she realized was, it was for something negative. People were making excuses for her to be unhappy, making it easy for her not to reach her goals. Staying a victim prevents moving into a productive, happy, wonderful and loving life.

I asked my sister once, what is the difference between being supportive and being enabler? She responded with one word…”time.” I truly think she was spot on. To treat someone (over too much time) as a victim allows/enables them to keep victimizing themselves over and over again.


…On a positive note…My husband is going back to work today (bless his heart)!


2 Responses to “Victim No Longer!”

  1. Charlotte February 24, 2014 at 10:12 pm #

    Great message!

    • asklotta February 24, 2014 at 11:37 pm #

      Thank you! To hear Gabrielle Union speak was transforming for me!

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