Tag Archives: Success

Giving Up? OR Accepting What Is?

29 Sep


Giving up…or…Accepting what is?

Today, you decide!

Victim No Longer!

24 Feb

About a month ago my husband had a full hip replacement and after 3 days in the hospital I drove him home on a brutal Cleveland winter day. Our home immediately transformed into a nursing home with prescription bottles decorating counters and rooms with rechargeable air pumps for his legs (to prevent blood clots) that sucked air in and out all day and ALL NIGHT …that he needed to wear all day and ALL NIGHT (bless his heart).  Along with other medical equipment to aid in his comfort and recovery.


…As the recovery (thankfully) has progressed with amazing speed (bless his heart)…

Our house has now been transformed into his office. With conference calls, deliveries and loud out bursts of “damn it”  because of a lost internet connection for a moment (bless his heart).


This morning as he moved from one room to the other with purpose and questions/requests for me (bless his heart), I was doing my best impression of I can’t hear you because what I’m watching (on television) is so interesting I can’t possibly turn my head and pay attention…Admittedly not being the best wife I could possibly be!


…As you know from previous post of mine, I truly believe God works in misteriest ways.

…So here we go…Or rather “hear” (tee hee) we go!

The television happened to have The View on with Gabrielle Union as a guest, she plays Mary Jane in “Being Mary Jane.” A truly stunning well spoken woman with a tremendous amount of love and energy…in her real life; marrying a man with three sons (a soon to-be blended family as she said).


…What truly did end up catching my attention (I know, took me a long time to get here) Ms. Union spoke about the turning point in her life when she realized she no longer wanted to be a victim (raped at gun point at 19 yrs. old) and instead wanted to be a survivor! Ms Union said, you get all the attention and excuses you thought you’ve always wanted when you were younger but the problem she realized was, it was for something negative. People were making excuses for her to be unhappy, making it easy for her not to reach her goals. Staying a victim prevents moving into a productive, happy, wonderful and loving life.

I asked my sister once, what is the difference between being supportive and being enabler? She responded with one word…”time.” I truly think she was spot on. To treat someone (over too much time) as a victim allows/enables them to keep victimizing themselves over and over again.


…On a positive note…My husband is going back to work today (bless his heart)!


February 14!

15 Feb

Well, did you all survive Valentine’s Day? 

Sure hope so!

Some people hate the day. To them it’s about failed expectations, it magnifies being alone and/or unhappy relationships. Or some say it’s just a Hallmark holiday to guilt us into parting with our money.

For me this could not be the furtherest from the truth.

I want to say it loud and say it often

I LOVE Valentine’s Day!

To me it’s not what I’m supposed to receive (the “perfect” gift), it’s not about the “perfect” romantic evening or anything else that has to do regarding “perfect” narcissism.

Rather, February 14 is about being:


More forgiving 

To make someone else feel loved/special

Letting them know they truly matter to you

To invite friends to come together and laugh

It’s about the beautiful opportunity to focus on others.

And personally….I find nothing wrong with a day that gives people so many wonderful and amazing oppotunities…

AND the icing on the cake, is to smile, look someone in the eye, and say…

Happy Valentine’s Day!

On February 14, you can have your cake and eat it too!






Raise Your Glass…

31 Dec
Dear Readers,

Raise your glass to….
To your past love of your life….to someday having another love of your life
To your past commitments …to someday knowing when to say good by
To your past happiness…to someday having such happiness again
To your past health….to someday having your health again
To your past success….to someday realizing your best has yet to happen
To your past friendships….to someday having friends you have yet to meet
To your past distractions of being lost….to someday being silent and finding your way
To your past mistakes…to someday learning from your mistakes
To your past struggles…to someday being thankful for those struggles
To your past fears….to someday being fearless
To your past days of darkness…to someday dancing in the light of day
To your past limitations…to someday turning them into strengths
To your past need for help…to someday finding your voice to speak the words H E L P
To your past lack of faith…to someday finding your faith in GOD 
To your past of being thankless…to someday being filled with appreciation 
Raise Your Glass…
To your past (good, bad or indifferent)… to someday remembering to stay in the present!
Raise your glass… raise it high… to HOPE!
Dan Fogelberg – Same Old Lang Syne
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today with my glass raised high above my head (2013)…high up to the heavens (2013)…. for Hope (2013)… Hope for all in 2013…
Happy Hopeful New Year!
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do in 2012!
Kindest regards,
President and CEO

Pre-Gaming To The Holidays!

4 Dec
Dear Readers,

My friend Carmen said to me the other day…a few days after 18 family members were at her home for Thanksgiving, “I wish I could fall asleep and wake up in the New Year!” I know exactly how she feels. This time of the year I feel like I am standing at the base of a steep mountain with only days  to get to the summit (December 25).
You see this climb is not without bad weather (literally and emotionally), exhaustion (literally and emotionally), and a trail soaked in tradition (literally and emotionally). 
I am a very strong 5 feet 1 inch girl loaded with love, energy and determination with never failing amount of cheer! And what I’ve come to understand about this season, this holiday, this time of year, it is not about waging a personal war/vendetta against Madison Ave or with big and small retail stores for their assault on my peace and harmony…But I have come to realize and understand, this season, this holiday, this time of year is a huge opportunity to feel God’s presents (literally and emotionally). To remind myself that God gave us an unbelievable beautiful present on December 25, his Son, our savior!
So with all that said…
My gift to you is a quote from 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace by Dr. Wayne Dyer
“I’ve come to know the peace of Spirit in my life, and because of this knowing, all of my concerns, problems, accomplishments, and accumulations diminish in importance.” 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today in loving peace!
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
Kindest regards,
President and CEO

A Problem Is A Gift!

7 Nov
Dear Readers,
Yesterday after doing my civic duty to vote in our Presidential  election I trotted off to the mall looking for that perfect white shirt (unsuccessful). But anyway I was in a department store and over heard a conversation in the dressing room that was going on between two women.
One woman was speaking in an unkind judgmental way and I realized and came to understand by her opinions, comments and harsh tones she has led a very blessed life.
I know this sounds crazy but please read on…
I truly believe this woman lacked empathy for others and took a mocking tone regarding someone else’s problems, because her life has been so blessed, shielded and void of life’s true painful experiences…I’m talking about the life altering humbling kind of experiences, the likes of which bring you to your knees coiling in pain….the humiliation of a cheating spouse,  the degradation of being lied to and manipulated for someone’s else own selfish wants, the pain of loving an addict and being rendered helpless to their destructive life and the evil tentacles that reach out from their actions. The kind of pain that either brings you humility and the need for recovery or if you choose bitterness…  
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.
-Helen Keller
Rarely do we look at our problems as a blessing. Today I think it is really important to look at our problems as an opportunity in our life to grow, to become better, creating an opening to a deeper level of happiness through our painful life experiences! It is always important to be appreciative for our problems for they could always be worse but my thought today takes it a bit further, to a different level of trust…to be thankful for your problems not just appreciative for what they are not!
I believe everything happens for a reason, I need to. For God is a good God and he always has a loving plan for us that he has put together without the help of any of the i-technologies (hard to believe, I know). 
Today’s Reminder:
“The Chinese word for crisis is written with two characters. The first stands for danger, and the second for opportunity. I will look for the good hidden within everything I encounter.”
“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands.”
-The Courage To Change
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today thanking God for all my problems for the personal consequence would be more severe!
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
Kindest regards,
President and CEO

Email from School

17 Oct
Dear Readers,
Below you will see an email I received on Sunday, Oct 7 at 2:24 PM from a teacher at my step-son’s school. It struck me as odd that this teacher had absolutely no faith that high school kids had the ability to check their emails (as they are suppose to do). It also struck me as odd the teacher was equally lacking in the ability to hand out consequences to students who failed to check their emails (as they were suppose to do). Then it went from odd to insane (in my opinion) for NOT lacking the ability to email parents with a reminder assignment. Lets face it, the consequence to failing to check email for that week was forgetting their putter, now come on….not exactly the worse life experience/consequence in life.
Please read the email below…. 
Sent: Sun, Oct 7, 2012 2:24 pm
Subject: Class Assignments

Parents – please pass on the message below to your child.  I sent the kids this same message, but too often they don’t check their e-mails.
Thanks – Mr. XYZ
Starting tomorrow, Monday, October 8th “Y” block groups will report to the following areas.
Group One will report to the game gym for instruction in volleyball.
Group Two will report to the Field House for instruction in golf.  If possible please bring a wedge and putter to school for instruction.
Both Group One and Group Two have class during “Y” Block on Monday, October 8.
My question for today is…
…who else besides me thinks it is almost criminal not to teach teenagers their actions and/or lack of actions have consequences. 
 Personally I would rather teenagers fail a little in high school (without huge life altering consequences) then missing that important life lesson during a time when it can/should be supported by their parents. They will eventually go off to college/work without the basic skills (accountability) needing to succeed in a very competitive global world….college professors are not going to email their parents with reminders nor are their future employers. High School kids need to have a sense of ownership, pride and to be able to advocate for themselves. I believe if your child’s success/grades mean more to you than it does to them; it is not going to work! Eventually and most sadly your child will fail with even more to lose. 
Even though this teacher’s email as well as other emails from teachers are harmless in nature (no big deal) I feel the lack of expectation for the high school kids to do what they are suppose to do, actually sets them up for failure down the road….missing a teachable moment void of any positive learning experiences at one of the most important times and places in a teenagers life. It was bad enough with all the helicopter parents buzzing around but now we have helicopter teachers, ewww! 
If you have not already read the NYTimes article titled “What if the secret to success is failure?” by Paul Touch published September 14, 2011…Please a must read! 
I think this generation of high school students should be titled The Making of Marionette Puppets. 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today scratching my head wondering at what moment in time did schools start becoming afraid of teaching teenagers their actions have consequences? 
Kindest regards,
President nd CEO


This Time of Year!

11 Sep
Dear Readers,
Another rainy Cleveland day (not complaining, well needed) with my staff at my feet as I think about the words a friend said to me this morning. She said as the Jewish holidays (the New Year) approach this is a time to reflect, look forward and to work towards personal fulfillment.
I really like that thought. Anytime for that matter would be a great time for such said positive thoughts but the timing of the Jewish New Year seems particularly perfect to me. The fall arrives with many changes and transitions; changing weather, changing colors, changing routines, changing clothes… confirming the perfect time for a change of perspective.
Which brings me to my post…
I read a wonderful article about raising successful children in the Wall Street Journal by Paul Tough titled “Opting Out of the Rug Rat Race”. This is it in a nut shell…STOP over scheduling, over indulgent, over protective, over controlling your child’s life! They actually did a study based on the General Education Development program (GED), a “…way for high-school dropouts to earn the equivalent of high-school diplomas.”
Mr. Tough writes,
“What matters most in a child’s development, they say, is not how much information we can stuff into her brain in the first few years of life. What matters, instead, is whether we are able to help her develop a very different set of qualities, a list that includes persistence, self-control, curiosity, conscientiousness, grit and self-confidence. Economists refer to these as noncognitive skills, psychologists call them personality traits, and the rest of us often think of them as character.”…”When you talk today to teachers and administrators at high-achieving high schools, this is their greatest concern: that their students are so overly protected from adversity, in their homes and at school, that they never develop the crucial ability to overcome real setbacks and in the process to develop strength of character.”
Really? No Kidding? If you spoil the hell out of your child, making them think they can do no wrong. Protecting them from negative consequences/adversities, raising your child as your equal and continually bragging about precious, really that will not workout in your child’s best interest down the road? WOW what a shocker! Wasn’t expecting that one! Is anyone picking up my sarcasm because I’m spreading it on really thick?
For those of you with a parental IQ above 50 I know this comes as nothing new and confirms your thoughts and actions. And to you I say keep going, stay on track, your child’s happiness (resilience) will be your reward, happiness and comfort. I personally know it is not easy to deliver difficult consequences to someone you would gladly give up your life for and/or seeing your child struggling to learn life’s painful lessons can make the strongest parent crumble but hang in there, it is worth it! What you are teaching them is how to live and survive in this world without you, which should be every parent’s goal.
And for the rest of you in the parenting pool with a lower IQ I do not care for you are not reading my blog anyway. You are the kind of parent that thinks your child is an extension of yourself and hence does not have any time left  in your very important day between making excuses for your child/yourself, doing their homework, and in full belief you gave birth to our Holy Savior! Amen! 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today in full reflections in honor of the New Year! I might have to work on the personal fulfillment portion a little bit longer!
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
Kindest regards,
President and CEO

Robert Stevenson AND Fay Moore: I Want To Be A Writer

27 Jun
Dear Readers,

I follow a blog called “Fay Moore: I Want To Be A Writer.”

On her blog she once posted…
“Robert Stevenson is a former All-American athlete turned author and public speaker. His best-selling book How To Soar Like an Eagle in a World Full of Turkeys is a guide to being extraordinary and is widely acclaimed.”

“Stevenson recently wrote Pocketful of Tweets on Success, a collection of powerful principles written as tweets to be easily remembered and shared. He passes out bookmarks with a list of tweets he considers significant. A few are excerpted below:”

“I wake up every morning knowing my success for today will not be based on yesterday’s victories nor tomorrow’s dreams. I must deliver TODAY.
You can be beaten but not defeated, captured but not conquered, knocked down but not kept down. Success is a choice-attitude-mindset.
In the overall scheme of success, being self-disciplined is the most important trait you must possess.
The power of EXTRA –  EXTRA effort, EXTRA study, EXTRA preparation, EXTRA time. . .when you put EXTRA into everything you do, you will succeed.
If it is to be, it is up to me. Quit waiting for someone else to make your success happen.
Associate with those who have integrity, character, intelligence, discipline and drive –good things will happen.
Measure people by actions, not words, performance, not intentions, deeds, not wishes, and heart, not wealth.
Winners dream, decide, devise and do. There is nothing passive about success.”

Asklotta and staff in MINDING YOUR BUSINESS today knowing nothing more needs to be said EXCEPT…THANK YOU Fay Moore!  Please jump on her blog, take it for a ride, sit back and just enjoy the view!

Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!

Kindest regards,


President and CEO


Defining Ourselves!

17 Jun
Dear Readers,
Woody Allen – “We define ourselves by the choices we make” AND ” With the lack of morality comes rationality”
Helen Keller – “My friends make the stories of my life” 
Winston Churchill – “If we open a quarrel between the past and the present, we shall find that we have lost the future”
George Bernard Shaw – “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” 
Dalai Lama – “Noticing a single shortcoming in ourselves is far more useful than seeing a thousand in someone else. When it is our own: we can correct it.”
The question now begs, 
How would you define yourself?
What stories would your friends make of your life?  
Do you waste time quarreling, losing the future? 
What life have you created for yourself?
Do you rationalize your bad behavior? 
Do you change your life stories to fit your present?
Do you think you would enjoy hearing what people say or what they would write about you?
I once overheard a very successful and well-respected businessman talking about my father, He said…. “No one could say a bad word about Joe, no matter what side of the aisle you sat, Joe always treated everyone honestly, fairly and honored his commitments”…My father’s friends, family and business associates (and adversaries) told the most wonderful stories of my father’s life! 
My father created a life of honor, respect, hard work and love…never losing his wonderful sense of humor! He took care of his family and friends, honoring his wife until his death and even from the grave.  I loved hearing and reading stories of his life, I hung on every word…  (WWII – Silver Star for bravery! Charities he supported), never a disconnect between his words and his behavior.  The last three days of my father’s life, I slept on the floor in his bedroom; more accurately, I lied awake listening to him breath with longer and longer stretches of time between him inhaling and exhaling. This allowed my mother to sleep during the night, assuring her if Dad died, he would have family by his side…just one of the luxuries and privileges of staying out of the hospital. At this point the cancer had already taken half his physical size, doctors tried hard to manage his pain; so difficult, and never successful… Dad looked at me and said “Coraggio” I had heard him say this before but this time he added, “Courage. The word only has meaning when it’s difficult to be courageous” 
Not once did he complain! AND when he laid himself down to die, he was at peace with the world and with himself. Was he perfect, no human can possibly be, but he got up everyday, living his life even to the painful end with dignity, love, honor, and most importantly (coraggio.)  
So yes, I was there by his side as he drew in his last breath, holding his left hand as my mother sat and held his right (his wife of 40 years) Family was with him at 7:49 AM, 21 years ago. As he finally laid in peace, a smile appeared on his face that wasn’t there a minute or two before, and it left me no doubt in my mind, he had found his brother and was being rewarded for the life he had led on earth! In the next bedroom, my three sweet children slept peacefully completely unaware the world had changed, at least for us. It was a privilege and an honor to be with such a great man until the end…. His honor and courageous memory lives on (1918 – 1991)
Today, Asklotta and staff in memory of my father (Happy Father’s Day Dad!) want to MIND YOUR BUSINESS by having you take a moment and take stock of your life.  If you don’t like how your life’s stories are reading…Change your behavior with positive, kind and respectful actions that will change you’re present and future! One person can really make a difference in this world…. make that one person YOU today!
“Unconditional Love”
“A person is a person because of other people” Happy Father’s Day to all!
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
Kindest regards,
President and CEO
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