Archive | March, 2014

LMAO Monday!

24 Mar

Subject: Why I’m depressed—–

 

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel: “Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land.

Nearly 75 years ago (when welfare was introduced), Roosevelt said” Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel, this is the Promised Land.”
Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels and mortgaged the Promised Land.

I was so depressed last night thinking about the Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars ,lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal…….

They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

I know you all have heard about TBT (Throw back Thursday)….Well I’ve decided I’m going to start LMAO (Laugh my ass off) Monday!

This is the first…Hope this brings at least a smile to your face today!

“After I’m Gone” by Laura Lippman

21 Mar

“You can rewrite life all you want… It’s still a play where everyone dies in the end.”

I love what reading does to and for me! 

Hope you get some reading pleasures this weekend!

 

 

Faster Than A Speeding Bullet

20 Mar

What should you do when life comes at you faster than a speeding bullet?

When decisions have to be made but yet you need more time to make them?

When making a decision doesn’t seem correct and delaying the decision is wrong as well?

When you catch yourself saying at least a couple times a day “beam me up

scotty.”

Or yelling (silently) how the F’in did I get here? Surely, there someone I can blame?

…BUT

Then you remember (if you’re emotional stable) you are exactly where you are because of all your past actions and decisions you have made.

…AND

No matter how fast life comes at you, the real decision is…

…It’s either time to in-put a different longitude and latitude into your life’s GPS…

OR…

Stay on track, full steam ahead (blocking out counter productive distractions) and enjoying your journey!

FOR…

The choice and consequences are always yours to own!

Either way, you will arrive somewhere! Either by choice or by default!

 

He Said, She Said…

17 Mar

Image

He said… “do you want to go for a walk?”

She said… “sure”

He said… “would you ever get married again?

She said… “NO”

He said… “I would”

She said… “not me!”

He said… “I’m just calling to make sure you got home safely”

She said,…”Thank you, that is so sweet of you”

He said… “Would you like to go out on a date?”

She said… “I would love to”

He said… “I will protect your heart and risk mine”

She said… nothing out loud but felt loved

He said… will you marry me?

She said… YES!

Eight years later (today)…..

He said, “happy anniversary to the love of my life”

She said, nothing out loud but felt even more loved….

The Sneeze

16 Mar

The perfect speech!

Morning Story and Dilbert

Morning Story and Dilbert Vintage Dilbert
March 13, 2012

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the  already crowded auditorium. With their rich  maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt.

Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles and Moms freely brushed  away tears.

This class would NOT pray during the commencements, not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

The principal and several students were careful to stay within the  guidelines allowed by the ruling.
They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no  one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.

The speeches were nice, but they were routine until the final speech received a standing ovation.

A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then,
it happened.

All 92…

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The Giver!

10 Mar

Day Light savings arrived perfectly on time this morning. Which is also code for longer days of sunlight (yippee)! But for those who are not morning people, the time change leaves them very exhausted, feeling miserable for that lost hour of sleep.

But not me! I’m a morning person, I love springing forward and the clocks! Love jumping out of bed with the delight of an earlier start to my day or at least in my head it feels that way.

Today feeling a bit happier with a little more skip in my walk,  I walked over to my neighbors for my usually Sunday morning Thing One and Thing Two entertainment time.  Of course never knowing what activities I would discover but always filled with expectations of hugs, laughter and beautiful loving insights. This morning certainly did not disappoint.

As I let myself into their backyard heading to their backdoor I noticed bear size foot prints in the over night dusting of snow. At this point I need to mention their 110 pound Great Pyrenees English Setter Mix that looks more like a Shetland pony than a dog. And by the way, who loves to greet me by leaping up into the air landing her front paws on top of my shoulders with her enormous head towering above me. As she wagged her grand tail (swinging it back and forth), creating colder wind chill tempts, I did my best to push her down… Recognizing like everything else over at my neighbors house, she is filled with love.

But I’m digressing a bit….

Upon my arrival Thing One and Thing Two greeted me with smiles and giggles as they ran off to fetch their make-believe pizza (play doh) on little toy plates. I pretended to gobble it up with enthusiasm and delight. The next food delivery they thought should be tea.

When all of a sudden….

Thing One takes off like a shot (older, taller and has the athleticism of a gold medallist) was the first to grab the tiny plastic tea cup…

Poor harmony, poor, poor harmony… it ended up in the frying pan!

Thing Too wanted to be “the giver,” feeling his second giving would be considered sloppy seconds!

Which made me remember a quote by Theodore Roosevelt (a God wink moment)…”Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Because of great parenting, Thing Two learned no matter what he gave, it was still going to be very special…..Serenity arrived perfectly on time.

AND….

….To me, it became as obvious as the nose on my face, Thing Two had begun the journey that would lead him to being a very happy adult.

 

 

 

Games and Rules!

4 Mar

As I walked into my neighbors home, Thing Two (age 4) was in his mother’s arms completely relaxed. His breathing and hers had become one. Together their chests rising and falling, slowly inhaling with long slow exhales. Calm was in the room as if it was something I could touch. I even noticed my breathing had become slower with longer calming breaths  .

In Thing Two’s hand was a tiny toy he was clinging to, his reassurance that his brother (Thing One) wasn’t going to completely get exactly everything he wanted (or so he thought).  I was witnessing the calm after the storm. Apparently several minutes (thankfully) before my arrival the outburst was set into motion by Thing One’s thoughts and ideas about how a game should be played….I’m not positive on all the details but I think it had something to do with, everyone has to play by my rules or else kind of a game!

Well anyway….

As I looked over at Thing One looking very angelic and playing so peacefully on the floor. He gave the appearance  that he was totally unaware of the how and why of Thing Two’s unnerving, I couldn’t help it, I started to laugh (it really was hilarious). All of a sudden Thing Two said, it’s too noisy in the room.  His mother said with a smile and a giggle , funny how this works…people never seem to mind the volume of their own noise (screaming) but other people’s noise is unsettling.”

And…

…As you know from my past post, I truly believe God works in mysteries ways!

God was winking at me, and now getting my full attention.

This whole scene reminded me of a quote from the Dalai Lama that I had once read…”You can not lose what you do not cling to.”

God gave me that moment in time, to understand that true peace, is in, the letting go.

Sadly for many adults, maturing (respecting others) is far too difficult and letting go seems so terribly unfair.

AND…Let me reassure you, because of great parenting, Thing One and Thing Two are growing taller, stronger and maturing perfectly!

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