Marley and The Bitch!

15 Sep

Friday’s with Marley…
I’ve just returned from a hike, started to make my “to do list” when I hear moaning from upstairs.

Marley are you OK….What is going on?

Marley waddles downstairs, flops down on the rug and with her eyes shut says…

…I don’t understand why I’m gaining weight. I watch what I eat.

Well Marley, maybe we can figure this out together before getting too worked-up.

For example….
…..I met Agnes while on vacation. She was a little bit of a thing with much pep in her walk. Her mother told me that Agnes is very disciplined. She eats two teaspoons of kibble in the morning and three teaspoons of kibble in the evening along with hiking three miles, five times a week.

…So tell me Marley what is YOUR disciplined routine?

She rolls over, opens her eyes and says…I wake up early…I move from my bed to yours….

Yep go on….

I wait for you to have your first cup of coffee and then I eat a big bowl of breakfast…

Yep, Ok….

I return to your bed…And when you go off to exercise I move to a chair in the living room.

Perfect, what else?

When you finally return, I eat a treat and move to the living room sofa.

Yep, yep…

By the time you are done with what ever you do, I eat another bowl of food…

Alrigh-ty, anything else?

Yep…I curl-up on the living chair so not to disrupt my digestion before going upstairs to bed.

Marley…All you do is eat and sleep…And p.s. eating what ever you want with your eyes open is not watching what you eat, I’m just saying!

Marley gives a snort, gives me the stink eye and says Agnes is the reason why people call female dogs bitches!

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2 Responses to “Marley and The Bitch!”

  1. Matt On Accident September 23, 2015 at 10:15 pm #

    Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw: “I watch what I eat! (Before It Reaches My Mouth)

    • asklotta September 24, 2015 at 10:48 am #

      Haha! Love ridiculous bumper stickers at red lights!

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