Tag Archives: Laughing

LMAO Monday!

27 May

Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf.

The pro asked, “Did you guys have a good game today?”

The first old guy said, “Yes, I had three riders today.”

The second old guy said, “I had the most riders ever. I had five.”

The third old guy said, “I had seven riders, the same as last time.”

The last old man said, “I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today.”

After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, “I’ve been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what’s a rider?”

The pro said, “A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it.” — Howard P. Curtis

 

Next week I will begin a summer of trying to break my recond of two rides, Tee hee!

“The Holy Spirit Is In My Pocket”

26 Jan

“Does anyone want the Holy Spirit because it’s in my pocket” I hear from the backseat….

What?

“I have the Holy Spirit in my pocket, does anyone want it?” 

I turn my head back to look at my three grown children in the backseat of our car as we are pulling out of the Church’s parking lot.

and SHE

…pulls out the communion host (wafer) from her front pocket.

Her brother yells…”I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it”…”What are you crazy?” “Why didn’t you just put it in your mouth? I’ve never known anyone to do this…This is sacrilegist!” 

SHE says…

…”Welll it’s flu season and the priest had it in his hands and I didn’t want to get sick.

 Trying so hard not to laugh at everyone and everything in the backseat while at the exact same time trying really hard not to offend God on Christmas Eve…I reach back extending my hand to accept the backseat communion offering and place it respectfully in my mouth. 

….AND after days of smiling and a lot of laughter well into January, it occurred to me, SHE did have the Holy Spirit in her pocket! 

Thanksgiving for all answered prayers!

 

Tis The Season…To Giggle!

11 Dec
Dear Readers,
 
Tis the season…
 To stay balanced…
 We must take time to eat well, exercise, take care of ourselves spiritually (a huge must) AND also take time to laugh!
 
So in the spirit of giggles…

 
 
MONEY
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
 
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
 
AND with all that said and NOT said…
 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today with a giggle and a smile on my face!
 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
 
Kindest regards,
 
Asklotta
 
President and CEO
 
CBCorp

TGI Friday (MONDAY!)

12 Nov

Dear Readers,

 

Given last week I was one day behind the whole week due to the change in my husband’s schedule.

 

Thursday I thought was Wednesday, Friday I thought was Thursday. So when Saturday came I felt gipped for I felt I had missed Friday so today being Monday I am just going to pretend it is Friday (it’s my blog I can pretend it is any day I want.) 

 

So with that said…

 

…I so do love TGI Friday (Monday!) Heck I just love to laugh no matter what day it is…

 

A dear friend with a wonderful sense of humor sent this to me! Hope this tickles your Friday (Monday) funny bone as much as mine!

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Turn around is always fair play…

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Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today enjoying my friend’s humor and so appreciative I my call her friend!…AND for all the friends in my life!

 

Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!

 

Kindest regards,

 

Asklotta

 

President and CEO

 

CBCorp

 

Laughing Day…Again! No Crime In That!

5 Nov

Dear Readers,

 
Given we had Halloween last night (Trick-or-Treating)…Due to hurricane Sandy, all festivities postponed to November 4….This is just so appropriate and all too funny not to share!
 
 
 

Thing One and Thing Two were my very favorite Treaters. Their costumes were adorable…”Where the Wild Things Are” Thing One was Max (of course) and Thing Two a monster (being 3 yrs old, of course, of course!)

 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today on the floor laughing and hoping this will finally be the end to 2012’s Halloween and to any more hurricanes!
 
 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
 
Kindest regards,
 
Asklotta
 
President and CEO
 
CBCorp
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TGIF- Comedian Steven Crowder – It Is Time To Laugh!

2 Nov
Dear Readers,
 
Seven full days of constant rain of biblical proportions. Yesterday I built a boat per the instructions of God to save myself and my family. Animals got on board simply and easily by marching two by two AND when it came to saving my family… the endless arguments, discussions, schedule conflicts and excuses! No one wanted to believe me the world was coming to an end, you know teenagers. Nothing was simple, nothing was easy…no one wanted to RSVP without confirmation the boat I built to save their lives wouldn’t interfere with their plans. 
 
They started to negotiate, wanting to bring their computers, iphones, ipads, ipod, itunes, Chipotle burritos, Dorritos – Cool Ranch flavor, was the boat wireless they asked? I kept insisting this is NOT how the story was suppose to go…no one was listening to me! So I started to scream… YOU IDIOTS God and I are trying to save your life but you know teenagers…
 
…God said (and I listened) save yourself and stop screaming you are giving me a headache of biblical proportions. God said there isn’t enough space on the boat for the Apple store…I said…but God how did you not plan/know for the fourth fiscal quarter of 2011 Apple posted revenue of $28.27 billion and net quarterly profit of 6.62 billion and God you know teenagers? Now I was starting to question this  antiquated boat, I wasn’t prepared for dial-up!
 
I wavered but did not break, I stood firm in my faith, never losing faith in God’s Will no matter what Apple posted for 2011 revenue. So I left on that seventh day of darkness and dankness of 40 degree Fahrenheit (for all my e-Canadian friends that would be 4.4 Celsius) and of course sailing off per God’s wishes…saving myself!
 
Pause…pause…I’m hitting the pause button on this ridiculous rain drenched story for the sun has finally come out! I received calls from five of my friends to ensure I saw the sun at 6:02 pm…giggling and giddy… I said, I did, I did…Hallelujah, Joy to the World!
 
For it is now time for singing, dancing and laughing on this wonderful Friday!

 
Laughing is my contribution to that lovely trio….will need a little help from my e-pals for the singing and dancing portion.
 
But for NOW (see below) cut and paste because this is too damn funny…My oldest child sent this to me while I was on my boat, thank goodness she didn’t give up her Apple products! Love you sweetheart you saved my post!
 
“Comedian Steven Crowder ‘Redistributes’ Children’s Halloween Candy in Political Spoof Video”
 
 
“In the redistribution of sugar wealth video, one child who had some candy taken away had this to say:
 
“Hey, dude that’s not cool. It’s not fun to take people’s candy. That’s my candy, I worked hard for it.”
 
When Steven Crowder pointed out that he had more than the child standing next to him, the angry youngster informed the comedian that it was “ok” to have more than someone else. The responses from other children who had some of their Halloween candy redistributed did not go along with the “fair share” endeavor quietly either.
 
One unhappy child even threatened to call the police because Crowder took something that did not belong to him. Steven explained that he was not stealing, just simply redistributing from those who have a lot to those who have less. The political theory did not impress the kiddos who simply wanted to keep what they had spent an hour earning.”
 
 
 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today laughing with friends outside in the sun!
 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
 
Kindest regards,
 
Asklotta
 
President and CEO
 
CBCorp
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Day 5 – Hitting the Wall!

1 Oct

Dear Readers,

 

Day 5 – I admit it; I woke up cranky from all the biking I had done this past week, I was hitting the wall. I wanted an excuse not to mount up and peddle left out of the parking area continue straight at the traffic signal to Chalk Hill Road for a 32 mile ride to the Robert Young Winery (informational tasting and picnic lunch). But given my nature of never quitting, I’d rather go down with the bike ship than quit. I strapped on my helmet, mounted my bike and I forged forward with my silent investor…to my delight and surprise, it felt great to be back on my bike among the colorful peloton of wonderful friends!

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(Another tidbit for your memory bank, the wood barrels cost about $1,500 a piece and can only be used at the most only 4 times, for some (very expensive) wines only 3 times)

 

The day was gorgeous as it has been for every single day on our trip (so lucky!) We were treated to yet another delicious picnic lunch outdoors, this time on the beautiful grounds of Robert Young Winery (thank you Courtney and Mason) and then we headed back to our hotel. I in the sag wagon for having completed 32 miles of rolling hills was just plenty for me today, Day 5. But for a few others (men) in the peloton, they continued on their bikes for an additional 15 miles to where they would be able to join the rest of us around a pool, completing our afternoon beautiful weather agenda of laughing, poking fun at each other and most importantly relaxing before dinner.

 

Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today knowing when to forge forward and knowing when to sit my a$$ down on a reclining lounge chair around a pool with just some of the best friends a girl could ever have!

 

Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!

 

Kindest regards,

 

Asklotta

 

President and CEO

 

CBCorp

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TGIF – The Jeannie Tate Show

24 Aug
Dear Readers,
 
TGIF – I was looking through old “Saved Mail” and came across this hilarious video that my daughter sent me in 2007. It is a skit about a soccer mom who is also a talk show host and conducts her show from her minivan! Hmmm somewhat like running a home corporation with dogs employees! 
 
You will laugh so hard you will cry! OR you will think my sense of humor is somewhat ….wellllll, just cut and paste and you be the judge!
 
 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today on the floor laughing too hard to sit up!
 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
 
Kindest regards,
 
Asklotta
 
President and CEO
 
CBCorp
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