Tag Archives: Helping


11 Nov


You can’t help someone who always “want it” their way!

“Fat Wife”

6 Nov
Dear Readers,
As I was driving to the gym this morning for my daily work-out I was listening to a radio station that started to talk about a group of men (friends) watching last Sunday’s football game together. Any time men get together void of any women it always interests me since I’ve been led to believe by my husband, men do not talk.  This is the usual scenario that goes on in my house…
Me: So…Did you have fun?
Husband: “Yes”
Me: Who was there?
Husband: “the usual”
Me: What did you all talk about?
Husband: “Nothing”
Me: You mean you and “the guys” were all together for five hours and no one said a word?
Husband: “yep correct”
I am definitely digressing, so anyway…
Apparently at this all male football gathering one of the guys made a comment about his wife. He said to his buddies, his wife is pregnant and she is gaining too much weight. He is worried HE was going to end up with a fat wife so he solicited the advice of his friends (how stupid is this guy?) as to what to do about his huge problem (giggle, pun intended). 
The Sunday football buddies all said, “say nothing!” “keep your mouth shut and live with it.” They are smarter then I thought!
The radio talk personalities (of course) weighted in on it (giggle pun intended) The male radio co-host said absolutely this guy should tell his wife to stop eating. The woman radio co-host said, “say nothing.” The pregnant wife knows she is gaining weight and her doctor knows as well. Let it come from the doctor! The radio co-host were very predictable. 
But what I found interesting was the comments from people who called in to the radio station and three callers in particular.
Man Caller: YES tell her she is gaining too much weight and this is not what you signed on for when you said “I do.” He said my wife ballooned up to 240 pounds and we are now divorce. He continued, why can’t you be honest with your own wife? If you can say to a man he has gained too much weight, why not to a woman? At this point it is worth mentioning twice, he was divorced!
Woman Caller 1: “I am six months pregnant with my third child and maybe this woman isn’t gaining too much weight but its her husband’s perspective given its their first child.”
Woman Caller 2: she said, put it in a positive way. Since she didn’t get pregnant all by herself, help her out. Help with the grocery shopping, try cooking together, help prepare her lunch for her to take to work. Talk about how you love her and how important it is for her to take good care of herself. Take walks together, make it fun and loving! Make her feel she is not pregnant alone.
Now it is time for asklotta to weigh in (oh come on pun so intended) with my two cents!
First of all I am shocked men actually talk…I know, I know I have to let that go!
Second, my first initial thoughts regarding the man who had concerns about his pregnant wife’s weight said truly nothing about his wife but yet volumes about him and that he should be dropped kicked to the curb by every pregnant woman in America!
Third, no one gains a tremendous amount of weight because they are having fun and/or just hungry. There is a bigger emotional issue that needs to be addressed and a physical one as well, just like anorexia. Anorexia really has nothing to do with being thin and everything to do with emotional issues such as lacking in self-worth, wanting to control everyone and every situation. Unable to deal with anxiety and stress with reasonable thoughts and actions and the person needs physiological therapy and support.  For some reason in our society we can understand eating disorder issues surrounding extreme weight loss but unable to apply the same thoughts and kindness with extreme weight gain. Both are emotional and physical issues that are hazardous to someone’s physical and mental well being. 
So with all that said…I have more then two cents possibly three or four cents worth today…
Man Caller – Obviously your wife was very unhappy in her marriage and/or with herself and hence ballooned up to 240 pounds. She was unable to face the world as it really is so self medicated with food. You were too selfish/ignorant to understand she needed psychological  support/help for her eating disorder! 
Woman Caller 1, Bravo for your interesting perspective that maybe this “soon to be new father” is clueless as to what it takes to bring a healthy baby/healthy mom to a safe delivery date.
Woman Caller 2, Bravo! Bravo! Taking responsibility mixed with positive loving actions with a real concern for a spouse’s well-being. A true loving partner far deeper then appearance level. 
“Today’s Reminder”
“Today, instead of aiming only for the results, I will consider taking actions because they seem to be the right actions for me.”
-Courage to Change
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today steady and steadfast on the love, kindest and responsibility path which always delivers me to happiness with a healthy lifestyle!
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
Kindest regards,
President and CEO
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