Tag Archives: Health

You Can’t Possible Make This Stuff UP!

7 Oct

Central Colombia woman grows potato in vagina in ill-advised contraception attempt Oct 1, 2014 posted by Craig Corbet

Shocked medical staff in a clinic in the central Colombian town of Honda have discovered a potato growing inside a patient’s vagina, local media reported on Wednesday.

The bizarre phenomenon was discovered when doctors attended a 22-year-old woman complaining of abdominal pains this week.

The embarrassed young woman explained that she had been advised by her mother to insert a potato into her vagina as a means of avoiding unwanted pregnancy.

“My mom told me that if I didn’t want to get pregnant, I should put a potato up there, and I believed her.” the unnamed patient was quoted as saying by local news website HSB Noticias.

After leaving the potato in place for around 2 weeks she began to experience intense pain in her lower abdomen. The potato had germinated, and grown roots inside the lady’s private parts.

When the nurse went to examine the patient, she originally thought she had been the target of a practical joke, as she found roots emerging from the young woman´s vagina.

The offending root vegetable was removed without need for surgery, and there should be no lasting physical effects on the young woman.

Carolina Rojas, the attending nurse, pointed the finger of blame at the woman´s mother for giving her daughter such bad advice in terms of contraception methods available.

 

All of a sudden, I’m feeling like a really really great mother! At least no vegetable garden has grown inside any of my children!!!

How about if we grade on a curve…What are you feeling really really great about today!

p.s. Thank you Ah Yea for the post idea!

Tuesday’s Hard Decisions!

2 Jul

Well, well, well decision time again….Here I sit in Chicago O’Hare Airport due to a canceled flight in Cleveland, many delays and rerouting, and now a missing flight crew, delays, delays…Delays!

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Now as I see it, do I wait patiently and respectfully waiting for United Airlines to do what I and thousands of others have paid them to do today (get us to our desired destination alive and safe)?

OR

Do I yell, lose my temper and denigrate people who have absolutely no control over my canceled flight, lack of notification, the weather, planes arriving and departing, missing flight crews, airline regulations or anything else in this world that really matters to me (having happy, healthy and safe children)?

Hummm, decision time….What do I do? What do I do? This is a hard one!

I think I’m going to buy another bag of delicious airport “what ever,” do a couple of deep knee bends, smile and be appreciative of everything I have and not have in my life!

Stay safe!

The Art in Moving On!

23 Apr

Dear Readers….

I’m baaaaack! Well at least occasionally I will be.

It is amazing what a heart felt apology can do. To say out loud “but that was no excuse…I was disrespectful….I am very sorry for my behavior.” without a BUT…

Please read on…

“Out of respect for the ongoing legal situation, I cannot comment on everything that is being reported right now. But I do want to say I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarrassed about the things I said. It was definitely a scary situation and I was frightened for my husband, but that was no excuse. I was disrespectful to the officer who was just doing his job. The words I used that night definitely do not reflect who I am. I have nothing but respect for the police and I am very sorry for my behavior.”
-Reese Witherspoon

What ended up front and in my face with Reese Witherspoons heart felt apology and full accountability (no excuses).. was a huge…WOW! In time I will never remember what she did but I will always remember what a really really good person she is. That is called truly moving on and leaving your past behind!

When you step up to the plate to take full responsibility for your unacceptable behavior and blame no one but yourself…it has miraculous healing powers for all but especially for you. It is a pure moment, an opportunity for much happiness and joy for yourself, not only in the moment but for your future!

“Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future” -Oscar Wilde

But instead…

…If your the kind of person that spins lies, blame others and has more excuses than my step-son has sneakers regarding your bad behavior then you are the kind of person who will forever live in darkness by your own doing!

“Excuses are like assho$es, they all stink” -Me

Stay safe everyone!

Your House!

17 Jan
Dear Readers,
 
A college friend shared the below proverb on Facebook. I thought it was spot on and I needed to share it with you! It spoke directly to my thoughts on living in harmony. Please know living in peace and harmony is always a work in progress, it’s a journey not an event. It is our daily assignment.
 
So with that said….
 
Please read it a couple of times, it truly gets even more powerful the second time around. 
 
Enjoy….
 
 

There is an Indian proverb that says

that everyone is a house with four rooms.
A physical, an emotional, a mental and a spiritual.
Most of us tend to live in one room most of 
the time, but unless we go into every room
every day, even if only to keep it aired,
we are not a complete person.
 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today ensuring every room in my house is well lived in.
 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
 
Kindest regards,
 
Asklotta
 
President and CEO
 
CBCorp
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Raise Your Glass…

31 Dec
Dear Readers,

 
Raise your glass to….
 
To your past love of your life….to someday having another love of your life
 
To your past commitments …to someday knowing when to say good by
 
To your past happiness…to someday having such happiness again
 
To your past health….to someday having your health again
 
To your past success….to someday realizing your best has yet to happen
 
To your past friendships….to someday having friends you have yet to meet
 
To your past distractions of being lost….to someday being silent and finding your way
 
To your past mistakes…to someday learning from your mistakes
 
To your past struggles…to someday being thankful for those struggles
 
To your past fears….to someday being fearless
 
To your past days of darkness…to someday dancing in the light of day
 
To your past limitations…to someday turning them into strengths
 
To your past need for help…to someday finding your voice to speak the words H E L P
 
To your past lack of faith…to someday finding your faith in GOD 
 
To your past of being thankless…to someday being filled with appreciation 
 
Raise Your Glass…
 
To your past (good, bad or indifferent)… to someday remembering to stay in the present!
 
Raise your glass… raise it high… to HOPE!
 
Dan Fogelberg – Same Old Lang Syne
 
 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today with my glass raised high above my head (2013)…high up to the heavens (2013)…. for Hope (2013)… Hope for all in 2013…
 
Happy Hopeful New Year!
 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do in 2012!
 
Kindest regards,
 
Asklotta
 
President and CEO
 
CBCorp
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Guilt Makes It More Pleasurable!

7 Dec
Dear Readers,

 
Once again…new research…heard before 6 AM.
 
We have this joke in my family that goes something like this, if you say it loud enough it must be true And in this case if I heard it early enough it must make it true! This one I am not doubting is true, I am just wondering why it was not as obvious as the nose on my face and why people spent time and money researching this one????
 
But here goes nothing, and I do mean nothing….
 
New research proved that chocolate was more pleasurable to those who felt guilty about eating it then those who had no guilt.
 
Duhhhhh
 
Isn’t that what every adulterous affair is all about? Guilty pleasures?
 
Isn’t that what underage drinking is all about?…Guilty pleasures? 
I have even heard kids say after turning 21 that they drink half as much because now that it’s legal it’s no fun anymore!
 
Isn’t that what the Bible calls the Forbidden Fruit? Guilty pleasures?
 
I think the research should have been on why so many adults derive pleasure from guilt. Why they go for narcissistic highs filled with excuses instead of sustainable healthy choices of happiness.
 
And hence It leads me to believe that this research only confirms… those who find more pleasure out of doing something that is harmful to themselves and/or to others is missing a key component to their conscience (with teenagers/children it is more age appropriate), But for adults, they are lacking a developed adult conscience due to many unresolved issues. Their Super-ego dominations their decision process which is very appropriate for a six year old but completely dysfunctional for an adult. 
 
So with all that said…
 
I believe for those of you needing to get a thrill out of your guilt… please find yourself a therapist (a good one) to work towards resolving your issues! Do Not pass Go and Do Not collect two hundred dollars and for heavens sakes please Do Not continue the game!
 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today guilt free and very happy!
 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
 
Kindest regards,
 
Asklotta
 
President and CEO
 
CBCorp   

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TGIF- Greek Yogurt and Bobby Flay’s Tandoori-Style Salmon

16 Nov
Dear Readers,

 

With the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday I thought it might be a nice idea to share and inspire a little healthier choice leading up to Thursday’s feed-bag!

 
Please cut and paste for a very easy delicious and healthy salmon! 
 

 

Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today being all to aware of the need to slow down and be mindful of our healthy choices in life.

 

Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!

 

Kindest regards,

 

Asklotta

 

President and CEO

 

CBCorp 

Day 6 – Sadly Our Last Day!

9 Oct
Dear Readers,
 
The last and final day of our biking trip – Day 6 – Dry Creek Valley Loop: 27 Miles. Reflecting on the last six days of magnificent made to order weather ranging from the upper 70’s to low 80’s sunny everyday with evenings and mornings cooler in the upper 50’s. The rain weather gear stayed in our suitcases, and sunblock and sunglasses used everyday!
 
Turn right out of the parking area onto Matheson Street, how appropriate, “turn right” and yes we did turn right, all of us, turned right into a weeks worth of great biking, great weather, great food, great adventures, great sceneries, great wines and most certainly right into great friendships for miles and miles! 
 
I love referring to our trip as an active vacation. We actively biked over mountains, we actively biked through the Sonoma winds, we actively made fun of each other, we actively laughed until our sides hurt… we actively forgot everything else except our love for each other! 
 
As all good things must come to an end, we Turned left into the parking area for Hotel Healdsburg…For this is the end to our exceptional trip experience!
 
Our farewell lunch was at Barndiva, a charming restaurant with an outdoor patio to dine on sustainably sourced cuisine and bid dear friends good-bye. Again how appropriate for our last meal together…Barndiva website –  ”At Barndiva we believe a great meal should have elements of both celebration and tradition, and that optimally it should be a sensate hunt for what the French call ‘Gout du revenez-y’ the taste you return to” 
 
Our friendships “sustainably sourced” with much “celebration” and already talks of turning the trip into a “tradition”…So for all the right turns and for all the right reasons, for it is only right…”the taste you return to”! Our reunion dinner has already been planned for it is only right!
 
Asklotta and staff will rightfully MIND YOUR BUSINESS today feasting on sweet memories (the taste you return to) of an active vacation of proudly biking 200 miles in six days of beautiful backroads and beautiful sustainably sourced friendships!
 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
 
Kindest regards,
 
Asklotta
 
President and CEO
 
CBCorp
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