Tag Archives: Candy

TGIF- Comedian Steven Crowder – It Is Time To Laugh!

2 Nov
Dear Readers,
 
Seven full days of constant rain of biblical proportions. Yesterday I built a boat per the instructions of God to save myself and my family. Animals got on board simply and easily by marching two by two AND when it came to saving my family… the endless arguments, discussions, schedule conflicts and excuses! No one wanted to believe me the world was coming to an end, you know teenagers. Nothing was simple, nothing was easy…no one wanted to RSVP without confirmation the boat I built to save their lives wouldn’t interfere with their plans. 
 
They started to negotiate, wanting to bring their computers, iphones, ipads, ipod, itunes, Chipotle burritos, Dorritos – Cool Ranch flavor, was the boat wireless they asked? I kept insisting this is NOT how the story was suppose to go…no one was listening to me! So I started to scream… YOU IDIOTS God and I are trying to save your life but you know teenagers…
 
…God said (and I listened) save yourself and stop screaming you are giving me a headache of biblical proportions. God said there isn’t enough space on the boat for the Apple store…I said…but God how did you not plan/know for the fourth fiscal quarter of 2011 Apple posted revenue of $28.27 billion and net quarterly profit of 6.62 billion and God you know teenagers? Now I was starting to question this  antiquated boat, I wasn’t prepared for dial-up!
 
I wavered but did not break, I stood firm in my faith, never losing faith in God’s Will no matter what Apple posted for 2011 revenue. So I left on that seventh day of darkness and dankness of 40 degree Fahrenheit (for all my e-Canadian friends that would be 4.4 Celsius) and of course sailing off per God’s wishes…saving myself!
 
Pause…pause…I’m hitting the pause button on this ridiculous rain drenched story for the sun has finally come out! I received calls from five of my friends to ensure I saw the sun at 6:02 pm…giggling and giddy… I said, I did, I did…Hallelujah, Joy to the World!
 
For it is now time for singing, dancing and laughing on this wonderful Friday!

 
Laughing is my contribution to that lovely trio….will need a little help from my e-pals for the singing and dancing portion.
 
But for NOW (see below) cut and paste because this is too damn funny…My oldest child sent this to me while I was on my boat, thank goodness she didn’t give up her Apple products! Love you sweetheart you saved my post!
 
“Comedian Steven Crowder ‘Redistributes’ Children’s Halloween Candy in Political Spoof Video”
 
 
“In the redistribution of sugar wealth video, one child who had some candy taken away had this to say:
 
“Hey, dude that’s not cool. It’s not fun to take people’s candy. That’s my candy, I worked hard for it.”
 
When Steven Crowder pointed out that he had more than the child standing next to him, the angry youngster informed the comedian that it was “ok” to have more than someone else. The responses from other children who had some of their Halloween candy redistributed did not go along with the “fair share” endeavor quietly either.
 
One unhappy child even threatened to call the police because Crowder took something that did not belong to him. Steven explained that he was not stealing, just simply redistributing from those who have a lot to those who have less. The political theory did not impress the kiddos who simply wanted to keep what they had spent an hour earning.”
 
 
 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today laughing with friends outside in the sun!
 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
 
Kindest regards,
 
Asklotta
 
President and CEO
 
CBCorp
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Halloween!

30 Oct

Dear Readers,

 

I am going to say it out loud…I Hate Halloween! 

 

I know how it makes me sound like an anti-candy person, which I am NOT. Which is completely ridiculous to anyone who knows me, I could not survive without some kind of (sweetly, sweetfull, sweet-a-licious) indulgence everyday if not twice a day!

 

One would think with such a sweet tooth and sweet thoughts this would be MY holiday…keep reading!

 

I never have liked Halloween even as a kid growing up in Rochester, NY. Any Rochester child knows one of the most important decisions regarding a Halloween costume is; can you wear it over a snowsuit (will it still fit?) and will it lose its impact?

 

Do not get what all the fuss fun is all about.

 

I hate having my doorbell ringing every five minutes. I am a generous person, I love giving, I love giving candy…just ask Thing one and Thing two? With one hand on the bible, swearing under oath, they would scream from their sugar high…”YES!” I give them lots and lots of (candy/cookies) treats.

My dogs’ staffs go crazy with every footstep, voice and doorbell they hear! Inside my home a barking-fest, giving pause to even the biggest dog lover a question of my staff’s existence. Poor Elwood and poor Augie, thinking we are under attack, bless their protective hearts!…Maybe my Halloween blessing will be hurricane Sandy?

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Elwood and Augie standing guard!

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Target -1st floor

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Target – 1st Floor

 

Do not get what all the bother fun is all about.

Halloween is a time for the truly gifted and artistic mothers to shine brightly (I am definitely Not one of them). YOU own the cluster of streets in your neighborhood, YOU own the Halloween party at school.  The Halloween talent light shines brightly on you, not your child (hmmm) Please do not confuse those who make a costume with those who CREATE a costume. Halloween CREATIONS would bring any Broadway producer down to his knees green with envy (no pun intended.)

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Target – 2nd Floor

 

Do not get what all the aggravation fun is all about.

Halloween is a time when some adult women use it as an excuse to dress like sluts their fantasies.  Men (equal opportunist) use it as the same excuse, a gynecologist or Hugh Hefner…and they always think they are so original and oh so funny ewww. 

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The Mall 10.27.12

Do not get what all the commotion fun is all about.

But what you all do not know (and must) about Halloween in Rochester, NY or I should say trick or treating at my house, MY FAMILY. After a night of hard work, running from house to house, screaming trick or treat at adults, getting rewarded handsomely with sweet candy to add to our already way too heavy pillowcases filled with sugared treats. Upon our arrival back home (I and my sister)…  would get greeted at our front door by my Mother with a smile on her face. We would empty all our candy out and Mother would have us pick six of our most favorite pieces of candy we wanted to keep (more then enough for any one child) and then for the rest of our sweet stash  (pounds and pounds of candy) my Mother would take it to the pediatric floors at our local hospitals for children who were unable to enjoy one of the most fun nights’ a child could possibly have!

 

 

Ok Ok…maybe there is some (lots) of fun in this orange and black holiday!  For I will be thinking of my beautiful, sweet and generous mother tomorrow with a smile on my face as the doorbell rings, the dogs bark and children screaming trick or treat! For it was the love of my Mother that made everyday sweeter for me and for so many children in hospitals on Halloween!

 

Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today… Halloween “ready and able” … a bowl filled with candy, 2 dog crates office cubicles, a huge sugar rush and a witch’s hat on my head! (Pun intended)

 

Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!

 

Kindest regards,

 

Asklotta

 

President and CEO

 

CBCorp

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