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House For Sale and Marley!

13 Jul

Friday’s with Marley…

I got up out of bed in the usual way, headed to the kitchen for my first cup of coffee (my most favorite part of the day) and Marley was no where to be found.

I love quiet mornings, I love my routine, I love nothing to interrupt all of my morning favorites and today was no different. The bliss of a drama-free morning with hopes of a drama-free day…but yet I could feel something wasn’t right.

Coffee mug in hand, sipping my first sip of heaven’s nectar, that delicious black liquid gold, when I heard a knock at the front door.

I thought, what on earth is going on? Who could be at my door at 6:00 this Friday morning…I could start to feel my tranquility taking off faster than honeymoon pajamas!

…I opened the door and there was a crowd….Excuse me, I said…What on earth is going on here? And why are you at my front door.

The first person stepped up (and may I say), a bit too close for my liking, with much irritation in his voice and said “I’ve been at your front door since 3:00 this morning. I wanted to make sure I was first in line.”

First in-line for what, I said…And in a blink he held up an IPad with several tabs opened to several different social media sights…
…AND THEN…
…And then I saw it, I saw it even without my reading glasses…It was in big red print, my address, with the words, House For Sale…Raffle with grand prize to be announced.

This is a mistake I stuttered. My house is not for sale. I have no idea how this has happened or why and I’m so sorry for all your trouble. Please allow me to reiterate…My house is not for sale! And there is certainly no grand prize of any sort.

Then out of the corner of my eye I saw something move from the back of the line. And as the crowd became more hushed and parted like the red sea, I started to hear barking and then with full view I saw her….Oh dear God it’s Marley with her paws full of cash!

MARLEY…M A R L E Y I yelled with a very shaky voice, what are you doing? Give these kind people back all their money and get your tail inside right now…With my fists raised above my head, I yelled “As God as my witness, you’ve gone too far this time!”

It was nothing less than a summer miracle that people were able to pry Marley’s paws open to get back their cash and leave without incident. I apologized up, down and sideways to all as they passed me and if I didn’t know better, I think a few actually felt sorry for me.

Marley sauntered through the front door and I slammed and locked the door behind her…As my anger rose from my toes up through my whole body I said with clenched teeth…Marley please explain to me, why did you post I was selling my house plus take money from people for a made-up raffle?

She flatten herself down on the cool tile floor, shut her eyes and said…”I’m a bit fatigue, I got up too early this morning… I’ll need to get back to you on this one.”

And as it became more apparent that I was only going to get crazy from her, I decided to pour myself a fresh cup of sanity and call a mulligan (a do-over) on this morning’s routine.

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Marley and The Lifestyle Blog!

8 Jul

I walked into the kitchen looking for my first cup of coffee of the day when I saw Marley taking a selfie with her selfie stick.

“Marley,” I said, “what are you doing?”

No response.

“MARLEY” I said louder and a bit more jarring.

“Oh..hey…didn’t see you walk in,” she said. “What’s happening?”

“Never mind me Marley, what are you doing taking selfies so early in the morning?”

“This summer I’m starting a lifestyle blog. I think there are so many in need of my advice, you know? The first post is called “Selfies: this is one stick you don’t fetch”

“You are going to give readers advice in lifestyle, like what? food and fashion trends? You wear the same thing every day. It’s called your fur.” And p.s you eat the same thing everyday!

“Coco Chanel dressed in black every day too you know. Besides it’s not about what you wear but how you wear it. No body shaming on my site, just me being me and inviting others to do the same.”

“You’re inviting others to be you?” I asked as I got blinded by another photo.

“Can you please be more careful about getting in my shot, this is called a selfie stick, not a groupie stick.”

“Marley you don’t think this is a little narcissistic?”

“As in Narciso Rodriguez?! Thank you! You’re the best! Ok you can be in my next photo.”

I turned on my heels and headed back to bed. Not enough coffee in the world…

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A Holiday Thought!

9 Dec
Take a few minutes to write down every holiday custom you feel you should follow. Start with family patterns, but don’t end there. Offices and friendships have their own traditions. Looking over your list, visualize each activity. Notice how your body reacts. Do you tense or relax, feel like smiling, snarling or weeping? What creates a genuine sense of enthusiasm? True enthusiasm makes us feel divine, whether we take that as a religious reality or simply a wonderful emotion. The holy days are the best times to focus on real enthusiasm, the inner source that lightens and sanctifies our lives all year.

How to Stay Sane This Holiday Season

-Martha Beck

American’s Personal Space!

1 Aug

Just returned home after being away (traveling) for about two weeks. A friend of mine has a great saying..”It’s always wonderful to travel but it’s always so good to return home.” And that is exactly how I feel in this moment in time!

I was in and out of several different airports and planes….

…AND…

It finally occurred to me why traveling has become so stressful to so many…

Not only have airports turned into one big fast food shopping mart with loud music and bright flashing lights, imitating the streets of Broadway…

But more importantly, it goes against everything Americans believe in…

For example…

Americans love their invisible personal space. You know what I’m talking about, that well known amount of space between you and everyone else. The majority of people know that proper/comfortable distance (not too close or too far). I hate it when someone is talking to me and stands too close. I start to back up, desperately trying to rescue my personal space.  And as I keep backing up, they keep moving forward, seeming oblivious to the reason why someone would walk backwards while talking…AND…God forbid I can actually feel the heat of their breath as they speak, much-less smell it., Disguising and super UCK X2.

Also…

Americans love to pretend other people don’t exist. Again, don’t play stupid with me…You know you ignore everyone in that Starbuck’s line in the morning and certainly on city buses/subways, and at your gym.

Plus…

Americans are not born into a cast system (no royals) though it could be argued America’s royals are movie stars (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) along with sport figures (Lebron James and Kevin Durant) just to mention a few.

And, as I sat on the plane, in my seat, for the final leg of my travels, it finally dawned on me…

…what the whole stress thing is about…Airlines throw strangers into small/limiting room forcing the break-down of personal space, mandating people to sit too close (touching body parts) needing to interact (talk) with strangers, as well as needing to tolerate the most annoying smells and habits of the masses with no possibility of escaping for hours!

And the final stress breaker is the “Cast System” of loading a plane. There are the privilege (Gold Medallion, First Class, Zone 1) that receives privileges that include (but far from limiting) a walk on a different carpet before boarding.

And as you stand with a $700 ticket in hand waiting for the privilege of being treated like a farm animal, almost giving the impression you’re in a scene from the movie Titanic.

But with all that said,

…If my plane takes off and lands safely I’m filled with gratitude which always includes a smile and a thank you to the pilots and flight attendants for a job well done!

P.S. Just a suggestion to ensure a less stressful travel day for so many, please don’t forget to shower before going to the airport along with double dosing the deodorant  :)!…I’m just saying!

Happy Trials Everyone…

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