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Marley And No Rest Time!

3 Mar

Friday’s with Marley…

I was on the phone when Marley walked in the room, she flopped down on the floor with a loud snort. As I was finishing up with my call, the noises got louder and along with barking, backward sneezes, and lip licking there where many eye rolls .

I hung up and said… Marley, for God’s sakes what do you want ? You are being far too rude and far too annoying for my liking!

“Well, what do you expect she said, I am over worked, under paid and I’m not given an opportunity to rest on my days off, just like Prince William. We have no down time or better said, no me-time”

I’m speechless, you and Prince William, no rest on days off?…Thinking I might still be able to step out of crazy before it gets crazier.

But…

…Quickly realizing I’m already in the quagmire of crazy and sinking fast with no hope of escaping…

What do you mean, you are not given an opportunity to rest? You rest for hours every single day…In fact, I question whether you even know the difference between day and night.

…She stands up, indignant… “Do you realize how hard I work? I don’t even have time to be polite.” I’M ENTITLED she barks louder, I’M ENTITLED, I’m the victim in mi casa.”

…Excuse me Marley, did I hear you correctly?

……………No time to be polite? …Entitled?

You, You…YOU, a victim? You are definitely barking up the wrong tree today!

“That reminds me, did you notice those unwanted bitches around the tree I like to visit? Can’t believe the level of narcissism in the world today!”

Marley please!

“Well at least you’re being polite…But that doesn’t get me what I want, when I want it.”

Marley, please focus….I continue with an inspirational quote hoping for an enlightened moment.
“Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within.” Helen Keller

” I agree with Helen she said, if you would give me a snack, happiness would be within me”

I turned on my heels, grabbed my car keys and headed for the door, with hopes that crazy wouldn’t follow…

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Marley’s Champagne Wishes…

26 Jan

Friday’s with Marley…

I had been up late the night before, having far too much fun, so this afternoon the idea of taking a nap brought a smile to my face….I crawled into bed, got cozy with my pillow, eyelids slowly closed and peace finally pervailed… when all of a sudden I heard Marley barking.

“Marley, SHHHH…What are you doing besides keeping me from sleeping?”

“Champagne wishes and caviar dreams” she barks

“What? Excuse me…What are you talking about?”

Marley sticks her nose up in the air, looks at me with one eye and with much self-absorb attitude …”What do you mean “what”, she barks….Isn’t it obvious? I SAID IT in English…”

“No Marley, it’s not obvious,” I said with one eye still shut, trying hard to keep my serenity and even harder trying to pretend this conversation wasn’t happening.

“‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous is an American television series that aired in syndication from 1984 to 1995. The show featured the extravagant lifestyles of wealthy entertainers, athletes and business moguls. It was hosted by Robin Leach for the majority of its run.’ And that was Robin Leach’s famous tag line.”

“Marley” I say, “is that directly from Wikipedia? What does this have to do with me? Or you? And why is this so important right this minute while I’m trying to sleep?”

Marley jumps up on to the bed, rolls over, and snorts….

….”I have reached out to Sir Robin Leach with a very insincere sweet and thoughtful email filled with heart-felt nothings… I expect to hear back any day if not any moment that he wants to meet me immediately. He’s going to say that he never thought he’d find a suitable replacement for himself until now….

…Really Marley???

Marley stretches out a little more, getting more comfortable in bed… “You know, you could be a little more supportive of my successful career goals. I mean, honestly, don’t you think you should get up right now and replace the water in my bowl with champagne?…I’m just saying…”

“Yeah right,” I said falling asleep, “in your caviar dreams.”

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Marley and Social Media

31 Dec

Friday’s with Marley…

While still away on holiday, I found myself smiling for no reason. I walked in the kitchen and found a coffee machine with an obvious round shaped on-button… I pressed it and almost immediately heard sounds of joy and peace….Marley walks into the kitchen….

Good morning Marley, how’d you sleep…feeling rested? We have a fun filled day ahead of us, no time to waste, full agenda.

Marley sniffs around, lays down and says…I have great concerns my friends don’t think I’m having fun on my family vacation.

What are you talking about Marley…

…Well, since you asked……You’ve done the lousiest job of posting on social media of all our holiday fun-filled family photos. I mean, have you seen what our friends have posted? Look at all those happy families, photos don’t lie!

Marley, I am sorry if…

…Apologizing helps me feel better but it doesn’t solve this problem.

I wasn’t… oh never mind….

Marley, You don’t need witnesses to validate that you’re having a wonderful time/life with family and friends. Keeping special moments private actually makes you live more of an “authentic life” Not every moment should and/or needs to be public…And at the end of the day, life is about celebrating the love, laughter and beauty of ordinary moments in our relationships with others.

Marley gobbles up her breakfast, licks her lips and grabs her selfie stick…Hey thanks for trying to make me feel better about your short comings but could you just lean in and smile big… After I post this moment with a cute tagline, this vacation will turn great.

I grabbed a XL size coffee cup, poured my peace and seventy and walked out of the kitchen!

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Wishing you all the sweetest New Year!

Marley, Matt On Accident & The Poem!

21 Oct

Friday’s with Marley…

“Marley’s the puppy that schemes for your loot,
Narcissistic, and snooty to boot,
She’ll steal all but your clothes
If you don’t scratch her nose:
How can this half-pint sized thief be so cute?”

by Matt On Accident
http://mattonaccident.com/

Please go visit Matt On Accident….You will be completely entertained…

…YOU…

….Will not be disappointed…

…Promise!!!

Marley and The Reset Button!

12 Oct

Friday’s with Marley…

Standing in the kitchen in front of the computer with one eye on the coffee machine, waiting for my first cup of peace and clarity, when Marley saunters into the kitchen.

Good morning Marley, your breakfast is in your bowl I say with a warm smile…She glances up at me and continues towards her breakfast.

Marley, I said good morning, it would be nice hear a good morning back.

She barks at me with something about a lot on her mind and since I never told her to say good morning she hasn’t done anything wrong, acting very snarky

I roll my eyes and take a deep breath clutching tightly to my serenity while asking…

…What could possibly be on your mind so early in the morning that has put you in such a cantankerous k-9 mood?

As she finished gobbling up her breakfast while licking her lips, she looked up at me and said….”Not that you would care (burp) but I’m in need of a vacation.”

I turned on my heels and headed back up stairs…A vacation from what, I say under my breath…

“See, that is exactly what I’m talking about. Do you think it’s easy chasing ideas all around, trying to be creative in this challenging business environment? And not to mention, no me time to recharge, rejuvenate, and renew. I’m busy busy busy. There is no rest for the weary”

Marley, aren’t you being over dramatic? And by the way those ideas you’re chasing have bushy tails and are called squirrels..I’m just saying

But….On the other hand…

…If you really want to reset your balance button, there is nothing like exercising outdoors. Breathing in positivity and exhaling negativity, staying present in the moment and to be among the beauty of nature, I think there is nothing better! It’s like a vacation without a hotel bill…What do say Marley, do you want to hike with me today?

Marley turns and walks to her favorite chair and says, “ok, unless of course I get a better invitation.”

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