House For Sale and Marley!

13 Jul

Friday’s with Marley…

I got up out of bed in the usual way, headed to the kitchen for my first cup of coffee (my most favorite part of the day) and Marley was no where to be found.

I love quiet mornings, I love my routine, I love nothing to interrupt all of my morning favorites and today was no different. The bliss of a drama-free morning with hopes of a drama-free day…but yet I could feel something wasn’t right.

Coffee mug in hand, sipping my first sip of heaven’s nectar, that delicious black liquid gold, when I heard a knock at the front door.

I thought, what on earth is going on? Who could be at my door at 6:00 this Friday morning…I could start to feel my tranquility taking off faster than honeymoon pajamas!

…I opened the door and there was a crowd….Excuse me, I said…What on earth is going on here? And why are you at my front door.

The first person stepped up (and may I say), a bit too close for my liking, with much irritation in his voice and said “I’ve been at your front door since 3:00 this morning. I wanted to make sure I was first in line.”

First in-line for what, I said…And in a blink he held up an IPad with several tabs opened to several different social media sights…
…AND THEN…
…And then I saw it, I saw it even without my reading glasses…It was in big red print, my address, with the words, House For Sale…Raffle with grand prize to be announced.

This is a mistake I stuttered. My house is not for sale. I have no idea how this has happened or why and I’m so sorry for all your trouble. Please allow me to reiterate…My house is not for sale! And there is certainly no grand prize of any sort.

Then out of the corner of my eye I saw something move from the back of the line. And as the crowd became more hushed and parted like the red sea, I started to hear barking and then with full view I saw her….Oh dear God it’s Marley with her paws full of cash!

MARLEY…M A R L E Y I yelled with a very shaky voice, what are you doing? Give these kind people back all their money and get your tail inside right now…With my fists raised above my head, I yelled “As God as my witness, you’ve gone too far this time!”

It was nothing less than a summer miracle that people were able to pry Marley’s paws open to get back their cash and leave without incident. I apologized up, down and sideways to all as they passed me and if I didn’t know better, I think a few actually felt sorry for me.

Marley sauntered through the front door and I slammed and locked the door behind her…As my anger rose from my toes up through my whole body I said with clenched teeth…Marley please explain to me, why did you post I was selling my house plus take money from people for a made-up raffle?

She flatten herself down on the cool tile floor, shut her eyes and said…”I’m a bit fatigue, I got up too early this morning… I’ll need to get back to you on this one.”

And as it became more apparent that I was only going to get crazy from her, I decided to pour myself a fresh cup of sanity and call a mulligan (a do-over) on this morning’s routine.

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2 Responses to “House For Sale and Marley!”

  1. Matt On Accident (Bring On The Twists!) July 13, 2015 at 12:31 pm #

    🐶😇

    • asklotta July 13, 2015 at 12:59 pm #

      Hahaha! Love the dog-halo emoji!

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