Sleeping Positions…Ha, You’ve Got To Be Kidding!

22 Oct
Dear Readers,

When I saw this on Yahoo a few days ago it was one of those moments, one of those thought moments filling my head with you’ve got to be kidding moments, the universe can not be this stupid and lame kind of moments…please keep reading!
“What Your Sleep Position Reveals About Your Personality” by Lisa Collier Cool
“Your sleep habits may be more revealing than you think, according to a surprising new study. A body language expert has analyzed common sleep positions and reports that they can reveal how stressed you are. Sleep position also offers insights into such traits as bossiness, stubbornness, being self-critical, and whether people feel they’re in control of their life.
A study of 1,000 sleepers, commissioned by Premier Inns, suggest that there are basically four types of sleepers—the fetal, the log sleeper, the yearner and the freefallers. Here’s a look what your slumber habits may reveal about your personality. “
Now if you are like me you will need to reread the above paragraph…because my brain has a shut down feature with an automatic off switch to the stupid and ridiculous and hence did not want to completely take in that people were actually paid to sleep to gain insights into sleep positions and personality traits!  
The article goes on to explain…. 
The Fetal Position – fetal sleepers are looking for comfort and are often constant worriers. While they are very conscientious during their waking hours, these are people who tend to overthink their tasks and daily lives.”
The Log Position –  a vertical line (below, right), with arms at your sides? The study says nearly 30 percent of people sleep like a “log,” and may be a bit rigid when it comes to their personalities.”
The Yearner – The yearners are people who get up in the morning with an excitement to get out there and chase their dreams.  These are also people who go after their dreams without a real focus. They can be chronic time wasters. Phipps also says that some of the yearners aren’t just chasing their dreams, some feel that they are being chased.”
The Freefall Position – If you sleep face down on your stomach (below, right), with arms and legs all over the bed in a freefall position, it might mean that you are seeking control of time and space in a way that you don’t feel you have in your waking hours.”
 “Idzikowskia says those who sleep in the starfish sleeping position, on their backs with arms and legs outspread, may be more open, and make better friends than the logs.
He also singles out the soldier sleeper, who is also a back sleeper. The soldier tends to be quiet and reserved, and sets high standards for himself and others. Both the soldier and the starfish often struggle with getting a good night’s sleep because they tend to snore and have other breathing problems throughout the night.”
Unfortunately there wasn’t an upside down-feet up in the air sleeping position analysis (see photo below)! 

Can you believe people actually got paid to due the study and people actually got paid to sleep? Maybe Premier Inns would pay me to study personality traits comparing those who eat chocolate before going to bed to those who eat it in the morning! I am sure that study would blow the door off of the insightful! Time and money well spent…hmmm this is actually sounding more like something the government would be interested in and would happily finance and of course turn into an entitlement!

I would be far more impressed with the study if they were able to label how the narcissistic, the entitled and the psychopath sleep positions….just think about how the world would change… just one sleep over with your future spouse would/could save you years and years of future problems! You could drop kick their crazy sleeping position to the curb and never have to deal with them ever again!
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today waiting for someone to hire me to study the ridiculous! 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
Kindest regards,
President and CEO

7 Responses to “Sleeping Positions…Ha, You’ve Got To Be Kidding!”

  1. Liz T. October 22, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    I wonder if this study applies to dogs, as well. I had one that slept on her back with her legs up in the air and her mouth wide open. She was nasty and bit people. Then there was the one that got stuck every time he slept under the bed and had to be pulled out by his back legs. He liked to eat his own you-know-what. Food for thought.

    • asklotta October 22, 2012 at 6:15 pm #

      Hahahahaha OMG I am laughing so hard I can barely type! Hmmm Dog Sleep Position…lets ask the government for the money for that study!!!

  2. Ann Sords October 22, 2012 at 5:21 pm #

    I’m a worrier….and, yes, a fetal sleeper! But what does it mean that I woke up four times last night and kept going back to the same dream because I still wasn’t satisfied with how my ‘college apartment’ was decorated? I kept having to go back to rethink the layout!!

    Interesting subject, once again!

    • asklotta October 22, 2012 at 6:17 pm #

      Hahahaha…I think the compulsive re-dreaming is more significant than the position but what do I know…as you can plainly see, I like having my dreams pour out my ears! LOL

  3. t October 23, 2012 at 2:13 am #

    I saw this as well, and was disappointed (and amazed!) that they did not address the “lay on your belly while acting like your Jet Li holding a stuffed monkey in mid-drop kick” position either!

    • asklotta October 23, 2012 at 10:20 am #

      Hahaha, T, can you believe how ridiculous this stuff is…I couldn’t even make this stuff up!

  4. tomorrowdefinitely January 7, 2016 at 9:49 pm #

    I’m the fetal position sleeper and the description is more than accurate 🙂

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