Day One, The Van!

24 Sep
Dear Readers,
My last six days all began with one morning in San Francisco…
I was sitting on a van with my silent investor along with 10 of my nearest and dearest (one couple was already at our meeting point, brilliant). Traveling North from S. F. to Calistoga presently all dressed in colorful biking clothes to begin our six-day biking adventure/vacation. I am listening to the most hilarious banter going back and forth, the funniest sh$t I have heard in such a long time. So funny, so inspirational, I even think most Canadians would double over laughing with this group! 
Please know I L O V E these people and L O V E giving each and every one of them sh$t. If done well (never mean) is truly a fine sport.  To be enjoyed whether as player or as a spectator! And COULD and SHOULD be an official sport in the summer and winter Olympics!
But allow me to back track for a moment….
We are… simply put: still curbside!  
One would think getting on a van at a schedule time at a schedule location would be an easy task (a no brainer so to speak) no formal education needed but for this highly educated group it seems to be a bit over reaching, too difficult to master much less done well!
(I will introduce the players (will need some latitude) on a need to know bases.)
We have Mr. Hilarious who is married to Mrs. Beautiful and Sweet.  Mr. Hilarious can turn any word and/or any situation into a hilarious laugh-a-thon. He has a gift! 
Mr. Drugg Report is married to Mrs. Not A Morning Person but can stay up late, is on the trip as well. Mr. Drugg Report can turn any word and/or any situation in to a political conspiracy plot. This morning (conspiracy or not) they have not appeared from the hotel to get on the van at the scheduled time. Mr. Hilarious barks a few words in to his cell phone at them followed by some grunting noises in response for all to hear. 
Have I mentioned we have NOT left the curb yet?
Mr. Tip, (nickname given in high school) is married to Mrs. Super Woman. Mrs. Super Woman can race up mountains on a bike with a smile on her face, and (damn it) looking gorgeous! Mr. Tip is our unofficial/official group leader who is very funny! 
But unbeknown to a few of us (me) Mr. Tip has a disappearing act while traveling!  
It seems as if the disappearing act of Mr. Tip can be counted on as one can count on the sun rising in the East and setting in the West. Mr. Tip is here one minute and like Houdini poof he’s gone! I experienced this first hand, one minute I saw him on the van and the next, poof gone! At this point no one even blinks and just knows he will reappear at any given moment looking quite innocent of any wrongdoing. 
Please remember the first and only mandatory activity that needs to be completed by our group on Day One is to get on the van and stay on the van for a 10:00 AM departure! Which still seems so challenging for a few of us.
I hope I mentioned we are all friends!  This vacation will be a reminder that speaks loudly and boldly to just how lucky I am to have the friends that I do and to be on vacation with them…for their friendship means the world to me!  
Which is why I am counting every single one of my lucky stars along with every singe one of my lucky miles for these loving and oh so funny people in my life.
So with all that said, our journey (biking through Napa and Sonoma Counties) final begins…Boarding the van has been completed, an hour and forty minutes later we are in beautiful wine country!
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today with a smile on my face and love in my heart for having completed the 30 miles from Calistoga to Yountville (900 ft. elevation gain)!
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
Kindest regards,
President and CEO

2 Responses to “Day One, The Van!”

  1. Liz T. September 25, 2012 at 1:20 am #

    I’m laughing all over again just thinking about it! What a journey of hilarity it was! My mouth still hurts from laughing, eating, drinking, and spewing! Thank you for the GREAT overview above. And quite complimentary I must say. I’ve decided to name you LaMachine!

    • asklotta September 25, 2012 at 10:18 pm #

      Hahaha…so many happy and funny memories…we are so blessed!

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