I Heard in the Grocery Store!

27 Aug
Dear Readers,
 
She is a SLUT! I heard from my phone as I was pushing a cart in the grocery store. 
 
What? King Tut I said as I reached for an organic Fuji apple. 
 
NOOO. She is a SLUT, now yelling in my ear. You just have to take my word on it. She broke up my friend’s marriage and her own and now HE wants to bring HER on vacation with us all. We were just going on vacation with just him, and his son, I truly was looking forward to spending some time with just them and NOW he is bringing the Slut and her three children WITH US she screamed
 
How about some honesty I suggested as I moved on to the locally grown vegetables. Why not tell him you were looking forward to spending time with him and his sons (the first time) since the divorce plus you are not comfortable with him (so soon) bringing along the woman that broke up his marriage and even though you respect and honor his friendship with your husband, you are still mourning the death of his marriage…right or wrong, that is just how you feel.
 
“No no I hate conflict plus my husband doesn’t want his friend to cancel his vacation plans with us” she said, is there something else I can say?
 
Tamari Almonds
 
“What? You’re not paying attention!”
 
Yes I am, you asked for my advice, you didn’t want to take it. So now I thought I would ask for your advice…. Do you like Tamari Almonds?
 
Yes of course” she said….”But…. what… am… I… going… to… do?”
 
Lets review I said as I rounded the corner pushing towards the hand stuffed Jalapeno Olives.
 
Honesty is not an option, right? “Correct.” she said
 
Your husband wants his friend to go on vacation with you all, right? “Correct”
 
Your husband doesn’t care if he brings the home wrecker aka Slut, right? “Correct, Damn it.”
 
In fact your husband would be upset if you did anything to make his friend not feel welcome, right? 
 
Stop moaning I can’t hear your answer. “CORRRRRECT!” 
 
Hear is the good news…
 
…Life could not be any simpler…. You… do… nothing!
 
Because you love your husband way more then you dislike the Slut.
 
“You are right and one more thing,” she said.
 
And now it was my turn to moan…. yes I said?
 
“Would you pick up a gallon of 1% milk for me?”
 
 It would be my pleasure, see you soon. 
 
Asklotta and staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS today in the grocery store. It is amazing the clarity one has among the locally grown vegetables and the hand stuffed Jalapeno Olives!
 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
 
Kindest regards,
 
Asklotta 
 
President and CEO
 
CBCorp
Image 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  

4 Responses to “I Heard in the Grocery Store!”

  1. legionwriter August 27, 2012 at 7:56 pm #

    Ok, I commented on some other post of yours about perspective and how you showed a lot of it here. (my phone hates me.). Anyway, ditto here.

  2. t August 28, 2012 at 1:16 am #

    Perfect! Though I did like your first piece of advise better, your second peace of advice was foolproof!

    • asklotta August 28, 2012 at 9:19 am #

      Thanks t, always appreciative of your comments!

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