Hostile Takeover!

3 Jul
Dear Readers,
Its official CBCorp is under a hostile takeover from my silent investor! 
Let me back up just a little…last Friday I had minor knee surgery to repair a torn meniscus in my right knee from all the running I have done and continued to do even though the pain should have clearly made me stop. But as I ran through the pain in to the world of a runners nirvana of peace and harmony I eventually had my “come to Jesus” moment when getting out of bed in the morning and placing my right foot on the floor became as painful as seeing a 50+ year old woman dressed as if she was 16, oh so very painful experience! So my silent investor (bless his heart) has taken time off from work to care for me, and the corporation (bless his sweet heart!)
NOW…the staff is under his dictatorship due to my physical inabilities, he is treating them like D O G  S.  Well I know they are dogs, but they didn’t know that until now. I was planning on telling them (honest) but not until a few more years, or at least until Tommy’s retirement and he received his doggie reward in the sky.  
Mr. Silent has started to make waves in what I thought was a very calm and smooth corporation. With too much time on his hands he has started the process of doing a complete head to toe financial and operational review on CBCorp.  Pulling financial statements out of files (bless his heart, damn it!) Talking on the phone with what I thought was all ready contracted soon to be services. I am starting to believe there is a mole in my corporation a sort of “deep throat’ informant for Mr. Silent is making noises, asking questions like I’ve never heard before. I feel as if I have new hurdles before me.
Mr. Silent has noticed missing documents of company expenditures for the past six months. His probing eye is reviewing every program and entitlement no matter how big or small. Nervous of course about catching flak about programs that were “grandfathered” in, that he might have been completely unaware of, reminding myself I need to save my energy I am in recovery mode.  Fearing that fun and delightful programs that were once enjoyed will get changed, slashed, or fined along with implementing higher standards for approval with more guidelines and additional limits  (bless his financial savoy heart, Sh$t!)
As of today it is still a slow and painful process to walk and still unable to drive myself around town to get what I need to get done. I call out sweetheart…are you doing anything? I wait patiently…oh sweetheart, SWEETHEART where are you?  I give up and go back to bed. About 30 minutes later Mr. Silent shows up and I ask him politely if he would mind being my part-time chauffeur this morning that I am badly in need of?  He immediately answers, “You mean driving miss daisy?”  I say nothing and scramble to get dress not wanting to waste anymore time or for him to bury himself back in my invoices, bills or ledger entries.  One would think getting him out of the office (home) would at least distract him from the stabbing and slashing budget dance he had been so beautifully choreographing all weekend.

We are now in the car, Mr. Silent in the driver’s seat and me as the co-pilot, ahhh all is well or at least I thought so until I heard, “how much do you have in your checking account?” I pretend not to hear Mr. Silent. He repeats the question “how much do you have” I interrupt with goodness I don’t know that off the top of my head. Mr. Silent says, “Pull out your check book and look.” Again I don’t blink, move or say a word. I turn the music louder and start to sing! (Bless his helpful heart, God Damn it, I’m going crazy!) 
Well, as my mother would say, “be thankful for the help” and “its better then a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.” …hmmm well… maybe!
Asklotta and staff remain strong in fighting off the hostile takeover to keep MINDING YOUR BUSINESS! AND reminding myself if my left knee ever needs to have surgery….I will learn to walk on my hands!
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
Kindest regards,
President and CEO


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