“Automatic Toilet…”

16 May
Hello Asklotta!
Ahhhh — Mother’s Day. A day we earn.
I have a dilemma that I am hoping you can solve for me. What am I to do with a husband who has purchased an AUTOMATIC TOILET FLUSHER for his son who cannot remember to flush the toilet? The flusher arrived in the mail yesterday and weighs about as much as a car battery. I haven’t seen it yet for fear that my head might blow up at the sight of it, which might be more attractive than a car-battery sized metal contraption fused to the front of the toilet. Do you think I should purchase an automatic husband head-basher (like a large punching glove on a long retractable metal arm) to automatically bash my husband in the head each time the automatic toilet flusher is activated?
My question is this… who is the REAL problem here — the husband (for accepting that the non-flusher won’t flush), the non-flusher (for not being taught to flush — or me (and my lack of acceptance of the new metal device in our home)?
Help me, Asklotta, please help me!
Dear  Automatic Toilet Flusher!
Asklotta and staff are over joyed at the thought of MINDING YOUR BUSINESS especially when it comes to Automatic Toilet Flushers for non-flushers in one’s own home!
I want you to say the Serenity Prayer three times NOW! Pleeeesse NO husband head-bashers! 
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change…the courage to change the things that I can…And the wisdom to know the difference.”
OK now for the fun!!!
I am very sure your sweet husband was thinking outside the box to solve his “not house broken” child problem AND trying hard to please you all at the same time! Husband gets “thoughtful and sweet bonus points” for creative thinking.
But even with all that said the actuality is preposterous! AND given the fact Asklotta and staff never likes to miss an opportunity to laugh and to purchase jewelry…  we are advising you two action plans.  
First: On June 17 put a bow on the automatic toilet flusher and tell your husband his Father’s Day gift in in the bathroom!
Second: For today…
  Put on your most fabulous stiletto’s
  Walk out your door
  Get in your car
  Drive to your most favorite jewelry store!
You will make a lovely jewelry purchase.  You will put the beautiful piece of jewelry on before walking back in to your home.  AND each time you hear the toilet automatically flushing you will smile and wait with great anticipation for another ridiculous problem solving purchase (and I say this with all the love in my heart), knowing you are just moments away from just another divine piece of jewelry!… LUCKY YOU!
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!
Kindest regards,
President and CEO

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