Husbands Are From The Fast Lane!

3 May
Dear Readers,

I recently received an etiquette question regarding the operation of automobiles. This topic, however, is not your typical driving etiquette topic. It has nothing to do with road rage nor texting-while-driving nor carpooling, yet every single woman I know has faced it at one time or another. It is: The husband who drives like a maniac and doesn’t even know it. 

The scene goes something like this: 
You’re in the passenger seat while your loving spouse is manning the wheel en route to whatever event you’re slightly late for. Suddenly you realize he’s picking up speed, passing cars already going way over the speed limit, turning corners so fast the centrifical force has landed you in the cup holders. There is now a primal fear rising from the depths of your being that you are trying desperately to squelch back down… 

“Slow down dear,” you say in your nicest, calmest voice (which at this point sounds more like the shriek of a banshee than any noise a human could make) “Just- Just SLOW DOWN!!” 

“Why?” your beloved asks serenely while looking over at you like you have 4 heads. “calm down, I got it, i got it,” he’s saying when suddenly in the midst of another hairpin turn he cuts a car off SO closely you let out an ear-piercing scream, clutch the dash board and press your foot repeatedly into the ground as if a brake is magically going to appear the harder you wish for it all as your life is flashing before your eyes… 

Meanwhile, at this exact moment on the other side of the car, a perfectly content husband is mentally praising himself on what good time he’s made and wondering ‘whats wrong with her?’ 

So, to answer this question to the best of my ability I grabbed my Emily Post’s Etiquette 18th edition and happened to come across such a wonderful section on driving “Around Town”.  This posting is for all my sisters out there who have a maniac-husband driving story and have lived to tell it…

“Good Manners = Safety”

“Be Considerate of Your Passengers”
“Not everyone can handle being driven around by a Danica Patrick. It
can be nerve-racking to be a passenger in a car that’s being driven too
fast: You’re not the one at the wheel, and essentially you have no control
over your safety. When you’re the driver, be aware of your passengers’
comfort levels. Slow the speed down a little, take the turns a bit easier,
and generally be more considerate in everything you do. Your passengers
will feel safe and confident in your driving skills.
As the driver, you set the tone in the car, Yelling “Be Quiet” at your
passengers sort of defeats your goal, Speak pleasantly and calmly when
making requests.”

My advice…. make a copy of this posting, tape it to the wheel, seal it
with a kiss… it certainly couldn’t hurt! AND remember it could always be
worse,…you could be lost as well.

As my Mother would say “A Zebra doesn’t change it’s strips.” Good luck
and safe travels!

Today Asklotta and Staff will MIND YOUR BUSINESS from the slow lane!

Again, it has been a pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!

Kindest regards,

Asklotta

President and CEO

CBCorp

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