Aggressive Parents…Ruin All The Fun!

2 Apr
Dear Readers,



My sister sent me the article below regarding the cancellation of this years Easter egg hunt in Colorado Springs due to last years over aggressive parents. The article explains that the Easter egg course, marked off by rope, was continuously invaded by parents who would step inside the robe, grab the eggs on the ground and hand them off to their children… hmmm if only this behavior was the exception, not the rule in today’s culture. Unfortunately, though, this story is all too common. 


“Observers say the cancellation is a prime example of so-called ‘helicopter parents’ – those who hover over their kids and are involved in every aspect of their children’s lives.” The article continues: ‘They couldn’t resist getting over the rope to help their kids,’ said Ron Alsop, author of The Trophy Kids Grow Up, which examines the ‘millennial children’ generation. 
‘That’s the perfect metaphor for millennial children. They don’t give their children enough chances to learn from hard knocks, mistakes,’ he said.


I’m sure you all have heard the joke, “what ruins children’s sports?” answer: “Adults.” And now, apparently, it’s Easter Egg Hunts! Not to fear, AskLotta has devised a quick and easy quiz as WE MIND YOUR BUSINESS for you to find out if you are one of these over aggressive adults ruining childrens’ fun:


1) Is the game/event/competition more important to you than your child?

2) Are you so terrified that your child will feel the emotions known as sadness or disappointment that you bend the rules to make sure the outcome is a win or at least a tie?

3) Do you feel winning is more important then fair play?

4) Do you criticize other children while you’re watching yours?

5) Do you blame other children or the referee’s for your child’s loss?

6) Are your only social friends the parents of your kids’ friends?


If you have answered yes to any or all of the above questions… you need to step away from children’s activities NOW, for you child’s well being… as well as your own!


an educator who I know and respect offered the following perspective in a recent school publication.
The Importance of Raising Resilient Children”  (an excerpt)
…..In spite of tremendous external accomplishment, many kids today are unhappy and impaired in their ability to function autonomously. The directors of counseling centers and health centers at many of the most prestigious schools, colleges, and universities in the United States are reporting an “unprecedented” increase in the number of students who are seeking out services for emotional problems. There are a growing number of university students lacking basic skills-negotiating for what they need, getting along with others, using common sense to stay safe and the ability to solve their own problems. When I delivered my youngest son, Gregg, to college, the Dean of Students addressed the parents and said, “You have all done a wonderful job of teaching your children how to succeed but a lousy job of teaching them how to cope with disappointment.”


My mother would say, “it’s not kind to raise children to think they can’t live without you.”


There is no advantage to micro managing everything in a child’s life to procure the perfect outcome. If you try to protect them from all disappointments, you rob them from truly succeeding on their own and hence robbing them of their self-confidence (their resilience.)  There’s no shame in losing! Remember the old adage, ‘if at first you don’t succeed try try again’? Remember the self respect (awesome feelings) that comes accomplishing those goals you really had to work for…. confidence building moments. 

The other downside to being an aggressive parent is that you become a burden to your children the moment they see that your well-being and state of mind revolves around their performance. As I’ve gotten older I realized my parents gave me the greatest gift they could have given me: they were supportive from the sidelines in all my endeavors- they picked me up when I lost and they celebrated my wins. But make no mistake, they had a life, their well being was not hinged on me (thank you mom and dad!), in my very opinionated opinion…. it’s called sanity!

 
Again, it has been my pleasure to tell you what to do and what NOT to do!


Kindest regards,


Asklotta


President and CEO


CBCorp
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